Steroids Accused of Using LeBron James
In yet another unfortunate disclosure for professional sports, steroids have been accused of illegally using LeBron James. The shocking revelation came late last night by a well-informed insider who wished to remain anonymous.
Steroids have been allegedly charged with using the potent athletic enhancer, 24 year-old LeBron James, to boost their power, agility and stamina. James, All-Star MVP and forward for the Cleveland Cavaliers, was banned by both the NBA and the Anti-Doping Board in 2006 as an illicit substance. Dr. James G. Fitzgerald, member of the Board and co-author of a tell-all book, has staunchly voiced his concerns over the player: “LeBron James is new and untested, and there can be many unforeseen consequences. He’s simply too strong to be safely used by any one player.” He added, “There’s also evidence that overuse of James can lead to advanced aging.”
Congress has already been petitioned by the medical community to do something about the James abuse in professional sports. It is likely a committee will be formed by the end of the month. It is unknown how the Board will treat the new allegations, but it’s probable that steroids will be indicted and possibly face a two-year suspension from all professional sports.
Fitzgerald warned us to be vigilant in a truly difficult time for sports. “People don’t realize how much kids look up to the pro’s. Next thing you know, they’ll be taking LeBron James just to make Varsity."