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lessons in logic

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lessons in logic

Postby rory » Apr 16th, '06, 16:09

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.
.........................................................................
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
.........................................................................
Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.
.........................................................................
The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.
.........................................................................

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.
.........................................................................

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.
.........................................................................
"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep
.........................................................................
There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning
.........................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
.........................................................................
"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours
.........................................................................
God made relatives
Thank God we can choose our friends.
.......................................................................
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
.........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........
:laughing:
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Postby rory » Apr 16th, '06, 16:11

1. At the movies When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer-
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer-
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer-
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
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Postby ThomasAguanis » Apr 16th, '06, 16:13

haha. that was pretty funny
they actually make sence haha :laughing:
(copies and pastes into email...sends to friends)
edit:
sees second post...
:laughing:
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Postby yoshi » Apr 16th, '06, 16:16

1. At the movies When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..


yeah, i like that kind of question.. :whistle: lol
Maybe wrote:I'm so awesome, I don't mind looking desperate.

Chet wrote:Fuck House. If I wanted to watch a sarcastic person in the medical field, I would stalk Yoshi :8)
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Postby MuNxMuN » Apr 16th, '06, 18:47

i understood most of them and they were pretty funny :laughing:
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Postby Shadyluva » Apr 16th, '06, 19:45

:laughing: lol...that was mad funni and its actually tru and makes sense
=]
lifee is GREAT
=]
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Postby Hunneh_Buns » Apr 16th, '06, 21:19

:laughing: Wow, I wanna use some of that second posts in real life. :p
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Postby yoshi » Apr 17th, '06, 14:00

Sarah wrote:In the second post I was half way through reading them when I realised that all the answers were complete sarcasm :sweating:



:thumbsup: lol ;)

i like that one too:

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

um.. if i scream it must hurt.. :confusion:
Maybe wrote:I'm so awesome, I don't mind looking desperate.

Chet wrote:Fuck House. If I wanted to watch a sarcastic person in the medical field, I would stalk Yoshi :8)
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Postby death420 » May 18th, '06, 02:21

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Postby death420 » May 18th, '06, 02:24

C:\Documents and Settings\Compaq_Owner\My Documents\My Pictures\killers
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Postby Lil Pimp Tell 'Em » May 18th, '06, 02:42

dude u have to upload the pictures on http://www.imageshack.com or http://www.photobucket.com or sumthin u cant jus paste

ne way :laughing: lmao i liked the second one twas funny lmao :laughing:
Its legendary status sittin behind this computer wiigga
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Postby woodbit » May 23rd, '06, 16:03

theres som good shit there mayne , nice drop
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Postby kait » May 25th, '06, 01:11

man I love sarcasm. I like the second joke in the second post. These were actually pretty funny. :D
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