sex jokes

[Dark Blue]

1."Dead Pussy"
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.



2."Is That Your Final Answer?"
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache."

The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes."

...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."



3."Little Johnny gets sent home early"
Little Johnny got sent home one day from school for being bad. Upon getting home he called out for his folks but got no reply.

He heard banging and moaning coming from upstairs and went up and opened his parent’s bedroom door. Johnny was shocked to see his dad giving it to his mom - her knees were by her ears, she was taking it like a porn starlet - screaming all manner of things.

The folks noticed Johnny and froze. He let out a gasp and ran off. Stunned, his parents realized that this could be traumatic on their son and decided the dad should explain sex is something parents do when in love.

The dad looked all over the house and couldn’t find Johnny anywhere - then he heard banging and moaning coming from Grandma’s room. He opened the door only to find little Johnny railing Grandma – just banging her senseless, pumping away with her legs in the air. The dad yelled, “What the f*ck are you doing?” to which Johnny replied “It’s not so much fun when it’s your mom eh?”


4."The Little Bird"
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?"
"A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."

Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?"

After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire.

[Emadyville]

Ha first 2 and the 4th were funny, the 3rd one was kind of fucked up

[Dark Blue]

lmfao the 3rd was very fucked up but funny at the same time i got more jokes but can't post them right now i gotta go to bed haha

[Robbie G]

don't sleep just post.

[Dark Blue]

aww sorry i just woke up hahahaha

[Dark Blue]

OH and heres the link to the 2nd part http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=48493