sex/dirty jokes 2

[Dark Blue]

11 DIRTY JOKES

1."Washcloth"(8/10)
There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked. He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was.

She responded, "It's my wash cloth."

Weeks later, after the mother had her baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again. While she was in the hospital, the doctor had shaved her pubic hair.

The boy asked, "What happened to your wash cloth?"

The mother responded, "I lost it."

The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his mother's washcloth.

A few days later, he ran to his mother yelling and screaming, "I found your washcloth."

The mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?"

The boy answered, "The maid has it! She is washing daddy's face with it."


2."Learning Animals with little johnny"(8/10)
A teacher in New York City wanted to see how many animals the city kids in her fourth-grade class could identify.

She drew a picture of a cow on the blackboard and said, "Who can tell me what this is?"

A little girl raised her hand.

"Yes, Janie, what do you think it is?"

"It's a cow, teacher."

"Very good, Janie," said the teacher.

Then she drew a picture of a pig, and a little boy answered correctly. She drew several other barnyard animals and was unable to stump the class. Finally, she decided to try something a little more difficult. She drew a stag with a large spread of antlers. The kids just stared, but nobody offered an answer.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "What does your mommy call your daddy when she's trying to be 'lovey-dovey'?"

Instantly, little Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, Teacher. It's a big horny bastard!"


3."Sex Ed with little johnny"(9/10)
Little Johnny was sitting in his first sex ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.

"Does anyone know what this is?" she asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy has two of them!"

"Two of them?!" the teacher asked.

"Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy’s teeth!"


4."Sleep Over"(8.5/10)
A guy walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, “Listen, I’m having three girls over tonight. I need help.”

The pharmacist hands the guy Viagra Extra Strength and says, “Take all these and you’ll go berserk for 12 hours.”

The next day the same guy walks into the drugstore, limps up to the pharmacist, and drops his pants. His penis is all bruised and tied in a knot, and skin is hanging off in some places. He says, “Gimme a tube of Icy Hot.”

The pharmacist replies in horror, “You can’t put Icy Hot on that!”

“No, it’s for my wrists,” the guy moans. “The girls never showed up

5."Sex With a Teacher, a Nurse...."(7.5/10
How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a nurse or an airline stewardess?

A teacher says we got to do this over and over again 'til we get it right.

A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.

And a airline stewardess says put this over your mouth and nose and breathe normally.


6."Fat?"(9.5/10)
Q: How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it.


7."Dead Wife"(6.5/10)
Two buddies are talking and one says to the other, “Listen, I think my wife is dead.”

“How come?”

“She’s the same in bed, but the dishes keep piling up…


8."too late"(9/10)
Judge to the prositute, "so when did you realize you were raped?" Prositute, wiping away tears: " when the check bounced.


9."Saggy tits"(8.5/10)
Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!


10."21 Inches"(10/10)
So three men are drinking in a car. They get pulled over by a female cop, who comes up to the side window. They roll down the window, and she says "I’ll let you three go free if you all together add up to 21 inches." So the driver pulls his pants down. 10 inches. The man in the passenger seat pulls his pants down. 10 inches. The man in the back seat pulls his pants down, and he’s only one measly inch. However, they do in fact add up to 21 inches so they get to go free. As they’re driving down the road the man with the one inch dick says "THANK GOD I POPPED A BONER BACK THERE GUYS!!!


11."Wal-Mart"(9/10)
I was at Wal-Mart the other day looking at cds when an attendent came up to me and said are you thinking about buying a cd. I said "No I'm going to buy a cd, I was thinking about jacking off.

part one--) http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=48488

[Robbie G]

haha pretty good, keep posting if you have more.

[Dark Blue]

yupp i got moree just give me a few mins to post them

[rahul.never2far]

ROFL