a bunch of funny jokes

by **Ivy** » Apr 9th, '06, 16:32

memyselforwho wrote:A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground, and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."

"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his crotch. But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that feel?"

To which he replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

That was the best one, funny ass shit right there...lmao... :laughing:

by **Hunneh_Buns** » Apr 9th, '06, 18:43

Most of them are funny :laughing:

Rimos

by **Homie_4_life** » Apr 9th, '06, 18:48

memyselforwho wrote:
The three most dangerous things in the world are:
a programmer with a soldering iron

a hardware guy with a software patch

a user with an idea.

_______________________________________________________

A man went to his dentist because his dentures were coming apart and causing major pain. The dentist couldn't understand why until he asked the fellow about foods he was eating.
"My wife is taking a cooking class," he told the dentist. "She learned to make Hollandaise sauce, and I love it so much I've been putting it on everything I eat these days."

"That's the trouble," the doctor told him. "Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is corroding the metal holding your dentures together. I'll make you a new plate out of chrome."

"Why chrome? That's very expensive!"

"Because," the dentist said, "everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

i dont get these 2

by **MuNxMuN** » Apr 9th, '06, 23:15

shit i must be really slow today i don't get any of them :loudcry:

by **Ivy** » Apr 9th, '06, 23:16

MuNxMuN wrote:shit i must be really slow today i don't get any of them

You're not slow, you're just not thinking smart...

by **Ivy** » Apr 9th, '06, 23:26

You had the correct explanation and understanding Sarah, so no worries. :happy:

by **MuNxMuN** » Apr 9th, '06, 23:26

Sarah wrote:
MuNxMuN wrote:shit i must be really slow today i don't get any of them

Not even the one I got? I'll explain it lol *hopes she was thinking the right thing* Ok...so the ball hit the dude on his thumb, but because of the way he reacted she thought it hit his crotch. Then she wanted to make him feel better so she put her hands down his pants to ease where she thought there was pain, but he only got hit on the thumb. That's why he said "but my thumb still hurts"

I think that's it Shit I hope so lol, but I'm not very good at explaining things