More sick jokes

[SemiShady]

these are the funniest jokes for being 1 or 2 sentences. if your offended don't read shit labeled sick jokes

i have a bunch of good ones

Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman in a playground

Q. What do you call an Ethiopian with a swollen toe?
A. A golf club.

Q: How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
A: The hot dogs all taste like shit!


n a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!
Doctor: Don't worry your legs are fine
Little Girl: what do you mean? I can't feel them
Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.


WARNING!! GROSSEST SICKEST ONE!!!! BEWARE
Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"


This man pulls up in his Mercedes beside a little boy.
He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, "Hey kid, if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car."
To which the kid replies, "Gimme the bag and I'll come in your mouth!"

Q: What did Hitler get his kid for Christmas?
A: An easy-bake oven

Q:What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pounder with cheese.

Q:What

[SemiShady]

just jokes... i luv all you hoes....

How many men does it take to mop a floor?
None. It's a woman's job.

What do you do if a woman comes out of the kitchen complaining?
Make the chain shorter.

How many sexists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, Let the bitch cook in the dark!

Baby jokes!

Q: What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: A baby with slashed floaties.

Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: The same baby three weeks later.

Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
A: Floaties with a slashed baby.

Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!

Q: How is a baby like a grape?
A: They both give a little wine when you squish them.

others

Don't buy New Orleans wine!
I hear it's watered down.

What's the best thing about twenty five year olds?
The fact there's twenty of them.

What's the difference between Paula Radcliff and Hitler?
At least Hitler tried to finish the race!

What was John Lennon's last hit?
The pavement.


ahhh.. lol thats it for now.. my old website had a derrty jokes section which is where i got these from.

also has a foreign language section which is how to say bad things in all languages.... i'll post that later

[Mini_Mickey]

WARNING!! GROSSEST SICKEST ONE!!!! BEWARE
Three vampires walk into a bar. One orders a blood on the rocks. Another orders a double blood. The third simply asks for a mug of hot water.
"Why didn't you order blood like everyone else?" asks the bartender.
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea!"

That one is so gross lol.

[C-Game]

lol
da vampire one was sick

[D@vid]

How many men does it take to mop a floor?
None. It's a woman's job.

How many sexists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, Let the bitch cook in the dark!

rofl