Disability Jokes

by **Dark Blue** » Oct 7th, '08, 22:44

1.Mental Hospital
Ron and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ron suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ron out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ron, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.

I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?'

2.Rubber on your stick
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus... so shut the hell up."

3.Fucked Now
A man is walking down the beach when he approaches a crying woman with no arms or legs. He says to her ``Why are you crying``.She replies ``I`ve never been hugged before``. so the man out of guilt picks up the woman and hugs her, he places her and begins to walk way when she beings crying again. The man now says ``Whats wrong now`` and the woman says `` Welll, I`ve never been kissed before`` the man sighs and and picks her up and hugs her. Immediately she starts to cry again when the man screams ``Whats wrong now!`` and the woman says ``I`ve never been fucked before`` so the man picks her up throws her in the water and says ``Well, you`re fucked now