really need feedback

[77o77]

i reach into to my soul just to find
what only my eys can fully describe,
so throw me the mic,
all i need is a flow and a vibe
while the whole mob rolls in behind.
only to find your just souly deprived"

it takes two to give life but only one to finish it
so fuck this shit and lets all be efficient again"

all i need is a pen
as ink pours outta my skin
pores from deep within
like ten floor beneath
the corridors of sin"


all 3 of these are some revisisions to lyrics on a couple songs i got coming out. due to copyright i dont want to post the whole song's lyrics so i just wanted some feedback as to if i should keep particular lines or just trash them. Im not worried about the blend between the song because the lines can be shaved to fit i just want to know what you think about the 3 lines in general.

[Sam.]

Read the rules bruh ! You gotta feed some one and use the link to that post as a "Link Of Feed" otherwise this thread will be locked .

Feed this .
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=125784