Mat Demaz- Forget A Beat (Freestyle)

[mdemaz]

Forget a beat I'm killing your mum punk
spilling some rum and jump acting like I'm still illin' dumb and drunk
my vocab is brutal dog ain't no rap vet can fuck with this
too bad I'm putting fools down making suckers my pets shit
If I had a dollar for each time they made no sense
I'd be rich you can bank on it my flow is intense
fuck punchlines I'm fisting circles around some faggot ass
get scared fucknuts I'm walking around with bags of cash
pouring peroxide and pepsi in some whore's hair starting shit with quiet folk
then the bitch started yelling at me screaming why didn't you dye it coke
she said pepsi sucks I got mad I grabbed her by her throat
some dude walked up to me saying chill out man try a smoke
I puffed spat at him saying it tasted bad
fucking redneck after that he passed out like some naked dad
I left the pub driving home drunk think I care not really man
flashed my dick to the cops throwing m-80s at a swat van.

Suggestions of how I can improve/modify this would be highly helpful.
I'll gladly feed.

LOF:
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=130120&p=1779286#p1779286

[Mr.DGAF]

This is pretty good. Some creative lines for sure. The vocab is okay, the rhymes were pretty good, but the flow was kinda meh. It's just because of those long lines and then a contrasted short line.

"some dude walked up to me saying chill out man try a smoke
I puffed spat at him saying it tasted bad"


Like that one, for examply.^^

The lines were kinda random, but that's understandable, and you even said so in one of the first couple lines. My only other complaint is that sometimes, the multies are a bit off. The mum punk/dumb and drunk rhyme is off syllable wise, for example.

But it's pretty good man, like I said, just watch some multies here and there and you're good.

[mdemaz]

This is pretty good. Some creative lines for sure. The vocab is okay, the rhymes were pretty good, but the flow was kinda meh. It's just because of those long lines and then a contrasted short line.

"some dude walked up to me saying chill out man try a smoke
I puffed spat at him saying it tasted bad"


Like that one, for examply.^^

The lines were kinda random, but that's understandable, and you even said so in one of the first couple lines. My only other complaint is that sometimes, the multies are a bit off. The mum punk/dumb and drunk rhyme is off syllable wise, for example.

But it's pretty good man, like I said, just watch some multies here and there and you're good.

Sometimes I can let a few syllables slip away here and there..
Thanks for the advice..I don't think I'll make any changes to this though, the beat I wrote it with is perfect for the short and long bar transition.

I'll feed your new shit now.

[M&M59]

what beat did you write to

[mdemaz]

what beat did you write to

It's my beat though, so I can't post it until it's done..I don't even think I'll even use the beat at all..
It's just kicks and double-time snares with various timing..
I should probably write to a Dre beat or something next time..
My bad.

[M&M59]

what beat did you write to

It's my beat though, so I can't post it until it's done..I don't even think I'll even use the beat at all..
It's just kicks and double-time snares with various timing..
I should probably write to a Dre beat or something next time..
My bad.

all good, but yeah, it would be crazy with a dre beat.

btw, nice drop. i sense some controversy in it,
like when you kill a redneck, choking a bitch, flashing your dick to the cops.

cool shit

[mdemaz]

what beat did you write to

It's my beat though, so I can't post it until it's done..I don't even think I'll even use the beat at all..
It's just kicks and double-time snares with various timing..
I should probably write to a Dre beat or something next time..
My bad.

all good, but yeah, it would be crazy with a dre beat.

btw, nice drop. i sense some controversy in it,
like when you kill a redneck, choking a bitch, flashing your dick to the cops.

cool shit

Some controversy?
XD

[M&M59]

come on g, you know what I mean...

[mdemaz]

a lot of controversy..

Yo, you got any pieces I could feed?

[Ka0t1c]

honestly, i didn't think it was that good, just a lil weird

[mdemaz]

Word...

[M&M59]

a lot of controversy..

Yo, you got any pieces I could feed?

haha, exactly

i've only made one. right now i mostly writing raps in my own language, which is danish.
because i don't got that large of vocabulary in english yet.

maybe i may be dropping a piece one of the days, in english of course.