Animal

[Atone]

(Chorus)(Sung)
In the depth of the wild
is the test of the child
to see if he can feed the hunger
to see if he canmake it in the jungle
or will the pressure just take him under
i'm an animal...

(Verse)
i been walkin on hot coal, barefoot in the fire
marks of a warrior on my face, somebody you can admire
scars on my skin of all the wars I fought
gone so far now i just can't stop
had my heart broke, i been stabbed in the spine
still got the knife buried deep just to remember the times
had friends turn to foe's in my life, mother fuckers robbed me blind
but still got half my sight, so i see where this is goin
and i continue to fight cuz the future is still worth knowin
cuz if i'm strong enough to make it thru what i have
than obviously it's in god's plan for me to walk this path
and i will prevail, i know it's not easy to understand it all
but in the wild you gotta learn the hard way, thats the life of an animal

(Chorus)

(Verse)
I started drinkin from the lake at the age of fifteen
poison in the water, it was a sick scene,
but i couldn't put it down, i became addicted
these wounds self inflicted, but this battle, i'm the one who picked it
so as i march thru the jungle i gotta find the cure
they put me in the driver seat now so i gotta learn to steeer
head in the right direction, stay on my path
destination X i'm lookin for heaven but i gotta finish my task
aint opened the poison in a few months, not even a sip
i just watch the rest while i sit back and get a grip
my life my rule's i refuse to let somebody else tell me where to go
how to live, what to do, cuz now i gotta put on a show
and prove that i can make it thru, so let these fuckers know
that was the old me, and i aint as weak as i used to be
now i'm stronger than i'v ever been , so yall better get used to me
cuz i'll be a beast, when it copmes to pressure where any man will fall
i stand up tall cuz i'm a mother fuckin animal

(Chorus)

(3rd verse will be heard on my next cd)


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[SliK]

I like the serious nature of this piece. The verses flow alright though you could try to match the syllables up a bit better, though that isn't something that was enough to ruin it. The only thing else I could suggest is work on the rhymes, very few multies (addicted/ picked it) and they almost seem unintentional. Like you were just going for a rhyme, rather than specifically a multi. There were two lines that I don't think rhymes at all:

"so as i march thru the jungle i gotta find the cure
they put me in the driver seat now so i gotta learn to steeer [sic]"

That really threw the flow off as I had to go back and look for the rhyme I thought I had missed.


Other than a couple of minor critiques, there isn't much to fault about this. It's a shame to see it slept on actually. I'll be peeping the audio when you drop it homie.