Red On White (Fiasco Day 3)

[SG.]

Beat: Kanye West - Roses
LOF: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=146182

We marched for the rights that we didn't have
Everyone knew that we were really living bad
But the RUC responded with violence to our peaceful cause
It's like we didn't even have the right to breathe at all
We were crying, not just because of the CS gas
All my kids asked me "why'd we have to be us, Dad?"
How are we terrorists? How can we bear with this?
Why does this country have to have a sectarian heritage?
And why the hell would you send in the army to control us?
They don't have brains, for them this is a cold hunt
So they just parachuted into the Bogside, not literally
But with thirteen men dead now, they're killers, see
The 30th of January is just only one day
Embedded in history forever as Bloody Sunday
The IRA ran away, and Faulkner's still an asshole
Better get a loupe because this is a fiasco

[Slim Fiasco]

I haven't done my homework on the Civil Rights movement to be honest, but this was very well done. I liked how you conveyed the thoughts of a person placed in such situation, and the rhyming was good through out. Of course, my favorite line was the last one when I assume you referred to Lupe.

[Mr.DGAF]

This is pretty good man. Whatever break you took from writing has helped. The rhyming was a bit meh for me, I mean there were rhymes but I felt they were a bit forced. Just my opinion though. That doesn't take away from the message and how well you conveyed it though. For sticking with a topic as strict as this, it was impressive to see that you made it coherent and rhymed pretty well throughout.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Nice dude, I loved the line Geno pointed out it was great, awesome vocabulary and great execution of the concept dude! Way to go keep it up.