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The Day I Wasn't Home

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The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby Requiem » Nov 12th, '08, 03:29

Chorus

The day i wasn't home,
things went from bad to worse,
the day i wasn't home,
ended up being my worst day on earth.

Verse 1

The one day i wasn't home,
some maf*cker breaks through my door.
there must have been no one there,
cuz there's still glass on the floor
As i arrive at the scene of the crime.
i step over the shards, shock racing through my mind.
my heart is pounding, i can feel it in my rib cage.
i feel so hollow, shattered, and blind with rage.
how the f*ck did this happen?
God, my soul is shaken.
how could u let someone break in?
the house is a wreck,
looks like a tornado hit the basement.
everything's gone, at least the things of value,
but the priceless heirlooms of childhood have been trampled.
i can sit on the porch, and still see the wreckage.
sh*t is everywhere, and i know it can't be fixed.

Verse 2

The cops are here now, askin me questions.
i don't know anything, how am i supposed to answer them?
they all up in my house, devices in their hands,
getting fingerprints from stuff, trying to search for the man,
who devised this plan, to break in my place,
take all the stuff, and escape in a van.
or maybe a truck, either way i'm still f*cked.
cuz even if they find the guy,
it's not like things gonna return to normal that easily.
we're still recovering, and he probably sold the stuff already.
my mom's crying on my shoulder, i'm trying to keep her steady.
my dad's talking with the police, damn my head is heavy.
blue and red flashing in the background incessantly.
i just ask God why this had to happen so incidentally.
all i want is to return to normality.
cold and alone; now i have to live with that mentality.

this isn't a true story, was just running on an emotion :sweating:
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Re: The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby jigglinj » Nov 12th, '08, 03:41

make ur rhymes a lil better
sounds like em's song we as americans :y:
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Re: The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby Requiem » Nov 12th, '08, 03:42

sweetness chet, glad u liked it. it's soooo lonely on msn without u :'( o well, at least there's omar. btw, i'm going to email u my #$#$@$# #$#$@# yes it's a secret. i'm not going to dispel it until Dec. 4th :shifty:

@ jigglinj, we as americans is "kiss the crack on my cracker slash @$$, basically saying "F*ck the cops" mine is about trauma after being robbed. sorta/kinda alike. but nowhere NEAR eachother.

thx for commenting tho^ ;)
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Re: The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby Tash8 » Nov 12th, '08, 03:43

it was ok, it had a story but pretty weak one, rhymes are pretty bad

door, floor, crime, mind, cage rage, etc

flow wasn't there, i don't know how anyone could possibly flow that, but if you can, then that's impressive.

*plus* if your house gets broken into, cops wouldn't give 2 shits unless you were rich... they won't do fingerprinting or nothing...
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Re: The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby Requiem » Nov 12th, '08, 03:49

it flowed in my mind. that doesn't say much tho. but i'm gonna do an audio track with it, so u'll see what i mean. it's meant to be read like a poem sort of. telling a story. thx for taking the time to read it :happy:
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Re: The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby Solace » Nov 13th, '08, 22:49

Sorry but that wasnt up to par with any of your other pieces. The concept wasnt that great either, but you tried it at least. And i flowed it fine. Really thought the rhymes would have been 10x better with multies. eg:

The cops are here now, askin' me questions,
I don't know anything, how am I supposed to answer them?

to this

The cops are here now, asking me questions,
Never knew anything, but my mind was restless.

Keep it up bro, peacee. Oh yeah. 6/10 :sweating:
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Re: The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby The Toy Soldier » Nov 14th, '08, 00:53

Tash8 wrote:it was ok, it had a story but pretty weak one, rhymes are pretty bad

door, floor, crime, mind, cage rage, etc

flow wasn't there, i don't know how anyone could possibly flow that, but if you can, then that's impressive.

*plus* if your house gets broken into, cops wouldn't give 2 shits unless you were rich... they won't do fingerprinting or nothing...

what he said

and yeah they still fingerprint things regardless of wealth, just not as much maybe.
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Re: The Day I Wasn't Home

Postby Requiem » Nov 14th, '08, 02:49

^thx for all the comments. i guess it could have been better. i wrote it all in like 15 mins, so i guess i didn't do best with rhyme scheme. i'll revise it if/when i get around to recording it.

@ shadymademe :'( :'( lmao, honest opinions i gotta respect, thx for feeding ;)
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