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NEW - Sick Of It

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NEW - Sick Of It

Postby Solace » Nov 19th, '08, 23:16

Rehblegh

Lifes are fucked, i never could believe it,
Seeing parents screaming, while young teens deceasing,
There aint no god, and Im sure of it,
Breast cancer, AIDS, yo why aint he curing it?
And caught up in a rappers hate and humiliation,
I stop and think what kinda world has been created,
Wish this shit would stop, cause im sick of it,
Kids at 12 learning how pull a trigger quick,
Ever since the start I knew something was fucked up,
I was shit on, left in the dark, and brushed up,
On the news all id see, was crying babies,
dying mothers and fathers who cant even pay fees,
cant afford a house, they cant afford water,
now what the fuck they goin' do with a son and a daughter?!
Its a sure thing though, they know whats gunna happen,
they all gunna die, murdered or a human disaster,
I see on the news kids getting raped,
like fuck man its 5 year old girl, this is happening day by day,
night by night, fight and fight, wife and wife,
I claim to be crazy but i dont wanna fuck up someones life,
people raping and jacking babies,
slapping bitches, beating up they own lady,
and as i sit down on a chair and just think of it,
i get nauseous, so calm down cause im sick of it.

First time in a while i didnt do a whole 2 verses & chorus. I just wasnt feeling this piece and didnt want to finish, so i guess if i dont even feel it, other people wont either. Please give me feedback tho :)
Last edited by Solace on Nov 22nd, '08, 23:10, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: NEW - Sick Of It

Postby Requiem » Nov 20th, '08, 05:07

Sick shizzz man. sick as hell. love the imagery, really feels powerful. this might go great as a third verse in that track u pm'ed me :shifty:
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propz to Solace

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Re: NEW - Sick Of It

Postby theJFKshow » Nov 20th, '08, 06:33

It's good and all but I'd like to see a more complex rhyme scheme.

Right now it's just AABBCCDDEE, kinda boring. Throw in some in-verse rhymes too, try some assonance and alliteration. It's just too simple.
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Re: NEW - Sick Of It

Postby Solace » Nov 20th, '08, 14:08

IceKilla wrote:Sick shizzz man. sick as hell. love the imagery, really feels powerful. this might go great as a third verse in that track u pm'ed me :shifty:


:o Maybe it would, i see how it fits :8)

@slimthps, yeah i guess your right. its very simple. ill try alliteration, im more familiar with that. ill update tonight ;)
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Re: NEW - Sick Of It

Postby Slim Zaddy » Nov 21st, '08, 08:48

shadymademe wrote:I see on the news kids getting raped,
like fuck man its 5 year old girl, this is happening day by day,
night by night, fight and fight, wife and wife,
I claim to be crazy but i dont wanna fuck up a girls life,


these what i liked the most

Again shadymademe concept was awesome bro :happy: .. this verse has a lot of feeling expression , a lot of emotions and facts that are really happening everywhere ,, talking about it, the flow was good , i like how u choose ur lyrics .. it doesn’t have to be complex to be perfect. It’s perfect as long as it delivers what you thinking off, in a decent way.. nd that's what u did here .. gd luck , keep dropping :y:
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