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FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

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FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby Slim Zaddy » Dec 24th, '08, 15:29

Back with a vengeance, my jail sentence had ended,
Looks like everything changed... came back with no friendships,
Went to my old home, but 20th still acted like I was gone,
Turns out... my name was jacked, by The Hands Of God,
Faggot ruined my name, attemped to douse my flame,
Too bad he failed, and I came back, still atop of the game,
It wasnt the same, you know... not battling for awhile,
Good thing for me.... chet adopted a new style,
Gone were stretched bars, no more need for fucking multies,
Got to the point, the best of the best could hardly hurt me,
Winning streak went to 30, until some bullshit kicked in,
Some kid named shadeymademe somehow against me got a win,
We all know the story there, so in hindsight I shouldnt have cared,
Instead I rejoined LLL just to see how I'd have faired,
A few weeks went by, and my record was flawless,
Crazy thing.... I had yet to try my hardest,


i hve just mentioned chet and shadymademe names in my piece . :p

feedback would be appreciated
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Re: FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby MC Anonymous » Dec 24th, '08, 15:33

Pretty decent, I liked the flow, vocab wasn't all that great, neither was multies/metaphors/similes.
6/10 :y:
LMFAO@ Brittney, bitch looking worse than a chupacabra mixed with a broken down coyote. You're disgusting ugly, so ugly in fact, my brain simultaneously exploded while processing how bitterly grotesque you look. I would much rather stick ice picks into the walls of my cranium, then stick my dick into your quagmire of a clitoris. You're what would happen if a sperm whale mated with a Godzilla fish..


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Re: FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby J Roc » Dec 24th, '08, 15:38

rhymes was ok ... flow dont work when u gotta stop in tha middle of ah line ... especially more then once

-1
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Re: FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby Slim Zaddy » Dec 24th, '08, 15:52

thanks both ,, actually i did'nt foucus on multies as you can see i said fuck multies .. :D ..
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Re: FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby James R. » Dec 24th, '08, 17:50

One of your much much weaker drops. Flow was ok, stopping mid line isn't that bad sometimes. Especially once you start on recording. It can give you a chance to breathe and people a chance to keep up. The was overall choppy though. No multies is ok, but it makes it far less complex. You can do better man. Keep writin.
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Re: FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby Solace » Dec 25th, '08, 01:22

It was good for a freestyle, definitely better than my freestyles. I liked the storytelling (in a way). It flowed alright, sometimes it was difficult to flow to it.
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Re: FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby mcZu » Dec 25th, '08, 01:37

I agree with all above, still I enjoyed it sort off
Keep it up bro :y:
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Re: FreeStyle ( N-E-W )

Postby Slim Zaddy » Dec 25th, '08, 17:46

thanks guys ,, glad u liked it though .. :worship:
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