Just Wanted to Put Something Up

[-[Zach]-]

here i am, alone again
the Devil's knockin', my walls are closin' in
hopin' 10 Hail Marys are enough to save my soul
as i sit and write this i'm hopin' Heaven ain't this cold
hopefully everyone's paid in full and the streets are paved in gold
i ain't a fool but i've fallen for a couple tricks
but life ain't life without the kisses with the kicks
i'm from that cliched school of hardknocks
on this road i know my destination is that cold barred box
i've tried many times to change my ways
but on my mind the Devil still preys
i'm fallin' victim to the system
wishin' for a better way of livin'
empty happiness lands me in this position
i can change the way of the game but its my decision

any feedback would be appreciated

[<Stiiccy>]

nice shit man...seemed more of like a poem?

but i liked it,...the devil shit gets everybody homie

[-[Zach]-]

thanks man. yea it was more along the lines of a poem but alls well that ends ok.

[Urban Punk]

8.5/10 I like it a lot… the rhymes and flow were great and I like your subject matter... keep posting

[-[Zach]-]

thanks man. your comment is appreciated.

[lilrossy]

good shit man, i really liked it. keep up the good work.

[James R.]

More poetic than lyrical but that's a refreshing change. I really enjoyed reading this man. Good job.

[Solace]

I really liked it, especially the line "heaven aint this cold". Keep it up man

[Slim Zaddy]

it's good .. i liked it .. nice job man

[mcZu]

Like others said, more if a poem-like piece
Still hot, I liked it, had some nice lines.. Constant concepst, styll connects well
Overall a nice piece.