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the movement

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the movement

Postby tjb » Jan 15th, '09, 01:50

were learnin civil right movement in class
so i this is wat i did in social studiess ahha
feedback appreciated


these racist faces hatin,
displayin discrimination,
against an entire nation,
but screw it, we ingore an r patiently waitin
for the next generation,
an to are extrodination,
a sensation,
emerges outta the crowd,
discouragin any sorta doubt,
comin outta there mouths
we just silence it now,
cuz if it gets to loud,
they knock at the doors,
they start to push an they pound,
until it falls down,
and if we already got this far,
why is it startin to fall apart?
its like martin luther shoulda never, had a start
its like rosa park should moved to the back of the bus,
but if she didnt stay parked what woulda moved us, [nothin..]
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    Re: the movement

    Postby Slim Zaddy » Jan 15th, '09, 18:39

    i liked the concept it's pretty nice . structure was fixed compared to your previous writings , i could see an improvement here , but still it's short , try to use more words and express more .. to make it a whole piece , but for now it's good . flow was good also ... keep writing man , you will be good ... keep it up :y:
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