The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.
Board index ‹ Creative Central ‹ Creative Writing ‹ The Cool Part 2, Edited

The Cool Part 2, Edited

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.
Post a reply

Re: The Cool, Edited Part 2

Postby gutawafang » Jan 30th, '09, 18:57

nice. but i see repeated words like "blaze". I like to rap this out though! I've done that twice! :y:
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male
Top

Re: The Cool, Edited Part 2

Postby Slim Zaddy » Jan 30th, '09, 19:21

it's better than the first one ,, but still you have double rhymes like , it , him , in , places , that much , so it looks weak , you're really good in expressing yourself .. but work on your rhymes ,, try this site it may help you http://www.rhymezone.com,, gd luck bro :y:
Image
z_em = Slim Zaddy = Zaid AQ which is my real name
User avatar
Slim Zaddy
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3764
Joined: Aug 21st, '08, 19:42
Location: never mind
Gender: Male
Top

Re: The Cool Part 2, Edited

Postby mcZu » Jan 30th, '09, 20:58

Nice play on Lupe's version, I kinda liked the vibe it had. Pretty average vocab but nontheless it's great :y:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male
Top
Post a reply

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

Designed by Zoom dinosaurs
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
cron