Better then last?

[killmaster56]

Well if anyone remembers the last i posted in creative writing it was horriable, Flow was really bad and vocab was shit. Vocab is still shit buttt i think the flow might be decent? I wrote this in algebra 2 so its hard to think about words while trying to listen to math haha.

with stupid people i have no tolerance
if you diss me you be fallin quick
your flow over the beat is insanely wack
i flow crazy like a mental maniac
caradic arrest is your best bet to escape
my furry is unleashed thats just apart of fate
rhymins my best trait, i call it pussy bait
its indefinite i will always be representing it
you better not piss me off bitch the fuse is lit


ya its pretty bad but its better then the last time

[mcZu]

Flow was pretty consistent trhough the whole piece, but you really need to up your vocab bro. Rhymes sucked 'cause you used way to simple rhymes and you could have use some more multies.
Try workin with similies, metaphores and wordplay, those tools will enhance your writing ability.
I didn't read your previous one, but this one seems decent. Just don't give up on writing and keep practicing, I would also advice you to read the dictionary if you have time to waste.

[Rain Matrix]

its indefinite i will always be representing it

hell yeah

[killmaster56]

Ya i know McZu. I wrote this while trying to write and be able to learn some confusing ass math shit haha. But ya ive been working on getting my vocab better

[neversnooze]

your flow and rhyme was great. to increase your vocab , just read books fiction or nonfiction and when you come across a word you dont understand , find the meaning and then put it in a sentence. it should stick in your head.

you covered the basics 9/10

[killmaster56]

Thanks for the feedback snooze