Lost [Short Piece]

[Solace]

Eh...Used 2 old lines.

The clock ticks, the rocks sit, my dreams fade,
No passion, alone, hard for me to see day,
Need the light, through the dark it's not found,
Feed the fights, the blood dripping to the ground,
Confused, I can't see, a cold blanket's over me,
Smoke making me tear, my heart rate's lowering,
A lost boy in the woods, trees devoured by mist,
A coward in the mist, devoured and I'm pissed,
See a flower; and its ripped, spend my hours in a crypt,
Power has been stripped, doured and at risk,
Showered by abyss, rock bottom I have hit,
Forgotten; I don't exist, I'm rottin', hitting bricks.

[gutawafang]

A lost boy in the woods, trees devoured by mist,
A coward in the mist, devoured and I'm pissed,
You used those 2 lines before. Yeah, I know you explained it.

Vocab I give it a 10.
Flow pretty standard.
I just love how metaphoric this is. Good job Epiphany!

[Solace]

A lost boy in the woods, trees devoured by mist,
A coward in the mist, devoured and I'm pissed,
You used those 2 lines before. Yeah, I know you explained it.

Vocab I give it a 10.
Flow pretty standard.
I just love how metaphoric this is. Good job Epiphany!

Thanks dude, appreciate it a lot!

[Emadyville]

Yeah that was pretty descriptive, i really enjoyed this man

[Solace]

Yeah that was pretty descriptive, i really enjoyed this man

Thanks D Dubs

[James R.]

Good rhyming. Descriptions were good. Vocab was good. Good piece man. I enjoyed it. It was short and sweet which is cool. I'd like to see smtn like this on a larger scale from you. I think you could KILL it.

[Tash8]

Eh...Used 2 old lines.

The clock ticks, the rocks sit, my dreams fade,
No passion, alone, hard for me to see day,
Need the light, through the dark it's not found,
Feed the fights, the blood dripping to the ground,
Confused, I can't see, a cold blanket's over me,
Smoke making me tear, my heart rate's lowering,
A lost boy in the woods, trees devoured by mist,
A coward in the mist, devoured and I'm pissed,
See a flower; and its ripped, spend my hours in a crypt,
Power has been stripped, doured and at risk,
Showered by abyss, rock bottom I have hit,
Forgotten; I don't exist, I'm rottin', hitting bricks.

i dont see any punchlines in this at all..

[Solace]

Good rhyming. Descriptions were good. Vocab was good. Good piece man. I enjoyed it. It was short and sweet which is cool. I'd like to see smtn like this on a larger scale from you. I think you could KILL it.

Thanks, and maybe i will for that tr up and coming tape if i get a chance to

Eh...Used 2 old lines.

The clock ticks, the rocks sit, my dreams fade,
No passion, alone, hard for me to see day,
Need the light, through the dark it's not found,
Feed the fights, the blood dripping to the ground,
Confused, I can't see, a cold blanket's over me,
Smoke making me tear, my heart rate's lowering,
A lost boy in the woods, trees devoured by mist,
A coward in the mist, devoured and I'm pissed,
See a flower; and its ripped, spend my hours in a crypt,
Power has been stripped, doured and at risk,
Showered by abyss, rock bottom I have hit,
Forgotten; I don't exist, I'm rottin', hitting bricks.

i dont see any punchlines in this at all..

oh well.