a 1st verse

[Rain Matrix]

my life isn't Simple I'm recently Single
so I'm humble and Nimble cuz one day I'll be Wrinkled

and this paper will be Crinkled rolled into a Ball and Tossed
my family is All I Got so I'm gonna take this Fall and Drop

this is where I Withdrawl my Thoughts I can't Halt this Loss
it'll be thrown in a Vault and Locked like my own personal Holacaust

but you won't see me ever Stall or Stop prepare for rain untill the End
my past is past Tense living for the future is common Sense

nobody on earth is Exempt from the threat of Consequence
I used to have a beautiful Girlfriend so even tho this heart needs to Mend

for mine and my sons sake I'll Commence wishing we could make Amends
with the best of Intent if you can't love me anymore I'm not trying Again

I'll disappear and the world'll be Drenched matrix came to Make it Rain
and leave all the Fakeness Slain sometimes it takes the most Basic Change

bound by a previously Stated Chain I'm reminded by a Persuasive Pain
so my tracks will be Laced with Flames untill your ears are Cremated Remains

Rain Matrix - 2009

[gutawafang]

I've seen better. Flow wise, was just okay. Multis pretty decent. Didn't captivate me though.
Maybe the structure's the reason.

[Slim Zaddy]

i loved it .. i could relate to some of the lines.. flow i great a,, concept was there .. pretty gd job here bro

[neversnooze]

if you are writing this for your girlfriend/wife whomever, scrap this piece. for her write something sweet not with concept. as for flow well done. as for structure, the verse with consequence and mend you could balance out the amount of words being used. in my opinion, the first half was dull with no emotions. the second half to last , i felt the emotions you brought out.

overall rain, on your verses/lyrics whatever change the subject(yourself) of what you write.
6.5/10

[Ka0t1c]

my life isn't Simple I'm recently Single
so I'm humble and Nimble cuz one day I'll be Wrinkled

and this paper will be Crinkled rolled into a Ball and Tossed
my family is All I Got so I'm gonna take this Fall and Drop

this is where I Withdrawl my Thoughts I can't Halt this Loss
it'll be thrown in a Vault and Locked like my own personal Holacaust

this part is very good but after that, i thought it went downhill b/c it lacked many things which were working for these 6 lines

so if u rewrite it, i'd keep just those lines and change the rest of it