A life In The Mist

[Xray]

.......................................

[gutawafang]

Hey man, there ain't as many multis as you claimed there was. I can't EXACTLY rap it out cuz I don't see the way to.

The phrase "I need a drink" destroys the ending cuz it does not rhyme with the rest. It broke the chain of rhymes.

But the punchlines were great man.
"I feel I'm in the ring, being boxed, always flinch
someone cut my eye, I need to see through my lids"
I think that's VERY VERY original. I could learn from you man.

Overall, 7/10.

[Xray]

Hey man, there ain't as many multis as you claimed there was. I can't EXACTLY rap it out cuz I don't see the way to.

The phrase "I need a drink" destroys the ending cuz it does not rhyme with the rest. It broke the chain of rhymes.

But the punchlines were great man.
"I feel I'm in the ring, being boxed, always flinch
someone cut my eye, I need to see through my lids"
I think that's VERY VERY original. I could learn from you man.

Overall, 7/10.

Thanks man, multis isn't my thing, but punchlines sort of is. I didn't even wanna use punchlines in this, the entire piece just came at me instantly, and as I said about the multis before, so Im not very good at that. But thanks for checking.

[Slim Zaddy]

A life in the mist, is a life full of drips
rain never miss, you get pissed into bits
if lips couldn't move, we could never be dissed
never be in rage, and hate would not exist
mouth is drying up, from all the bars I done spit
getting thirsty now, I'm in a drought, I need a drink
if life was a gamble, than I'm broke, I couldn't bid
so if life needed chips, than my life couldn't live

.

best lines actually ,, i liked it by the way , it's okay if you hve done it before going to sleep , but i liked the emotion used in the first 4 lines, you got the concept and the meaning , flow is good , rhymes were nice too , but yeah if there are more multies and if you give it more time it would be perfect ,, good shit Xray ,

[Xray]

A life in the mist, is a life full of drips
rain never miss, you get pissed into bits
if lips couldn't move, we could never be dissed
never be in rage, and hate would not exist
mouth is drying up, from all the bars I done spit
getting thirsty now, I'm in a drought, I need a drink
if life was a gamble, than I'm broke, I couldn't bid
so if life needed chips, than my life couldn't live

.

best lines actually ,, i liked it by the way , it's okay if you hve done it before going to sleep , but i liked the emotion used in the first 4 lines, you got the concept and the meaning , flow is good , rhymes were nice too , but yeah if there are more multies and if you give it more time it would be perfect ,, good shit Xray ,

Thank you bro.

[Le Tunisien]

good shit,i liked the rhymes and lyrics

[Arabian Shady]

Yo! new shit B
that was very well written, best part bein that i could imagine you sayin it man, with your voice and shit, shit flowed very very well,
punchlines were quite good, altho very few for my likin, verse was short 2, would like to see it longer man,
all in all i think this shit is dope considerin your style man, fits like a charm
Keep droppin, nice to see somethin fresh,

[Ka0t1c]

i like it for what it is, it came out just fine

[neversnooze]

i enjoyed reading this piece. has an uplifting story to it and your flow was good from start to finish.

p.s
nice diss track you made

[Xray]

Thanks for checking. thanks bro, glad you liked the diss track too haha.