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Lee O Mac Productionz

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Lee O Mac Productionz

Postby leeomac » Mar 12th, '09, 13:45

Lee O Mac Productionz
Welcome to the Lee O Mac Productionz rap,
I gotta point to prove to some haters who happen to think im wack,
Just because i wrote a lil verse for the first time in a while,
the way some of you responded was like a child,
This is a forum about creative writing,
When you see what i can do your going to be spiting,
I am a whiteboy who actually knows how to keep a beat,
better than Usher knows how to move his feet,
People who first knocked me prepare to take a seat,
This is my time to shine,
So go join the back of the line,
TRShady has got a new kid on the block,
Who aint gna go around bragging about the size of his cock,
Im just going to write a lil rap and have a lil fun,
But i promise you all you haters will definately get done!



haha not taking it to serious really, alot harder than i remember, been some time man....
So honestly what do people think?
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Re: Lee O Mac Productionz

Postby Solace » Mar 12th, '09, 21:13

This was decent

Welcome to the Lee O Mac Productionz rap,
I gotta point to prove to some haters who happen to think im wack,
Just because i wrote a lil verse for the first time in a while,
the way some of you responded was like a child,
This is a forum about creative writing,
When you see what i can do your going to be spiting,
I am a whiteboy who actually knows how to keep a beat,
better than Usher knows how to move his feet,
People who first knocked me prepare to take a seat,

The rest was wack as fuck, didnt flow like before. Try more punches, the Usher thing was alright but you need more clever shit. And i still think your wack, you havent proved a point yet.
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Re: Lee O Mac Productionz

Postby leeomac » Mar 13th, '09, 11:01

Solace wrote:This was decent

Welcome to the Lee O Mac Productionz rap,
I gotta point to prove to some haters who happen to think im wack,
Just because i wrote a lil verse for the first time in a while,
the way some of you responded was like a child,
This is a forum about creative writing,
When you see what i can do your going to be spiting,
I am a whiteboy who actually knows how to keep a beat,
better than Usher knows how to move his feet,
People who first knocked me prepare to take a seat,

The rest was wack as fuck, didnt flow like before. Try more punches, the Usher thing was alright but you need more clever shit. And i still think your wack, you havent proved a point yet.


But the main thing i wanted to achieve from that rap, was that i wasnt as bad as everyone first thought, and as you said that first part was decent, so it must of been an improvement, but i will take into account what you said and work on it :y:
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Re: Lee O Mac Productionz

Postby Slim Zaddy » Mar 13th, '09, 11:44

leeomac wrote:Lee O Mac Productionz
Welcome to the Lee O Mac Productionz rap,
I gotta point to prove to some haters who happen to think im wack,
Just because i wrote a lil verse for the first time in a while,
the way some of you responded was like a child,
This is a forum about creative writing,
When you see what i can do your going to be spiting,




yup as Solace said , you start good, but then gradually i lose interest , you hve some good lines bro, but you need to fix the structures, try to use more vocab , insert some imagery and metaphors which give beauty to the piece , a little bit of multies to help the flow to be going on ,, you know these ingredients are the basics to build a good piece,, but you're at the start we all begin bad , so it's okay , but take critics to heart dont consider them as an insult like some of the members here do ,, so keep writing bro ,, and try to work more on your piece nd use some of the ingredients :y: ..
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Re: Lee O Mac Productionz

Postby leeomac » Mar 13th, '09, 11:56

Slim Zaddy wrote:
leeomac wrote:Lee O Mac Productionz
Welcome to the Lee O Mac Productionz rap,
I gotta point to prove to some haters who happen to think im wack,
Just because i wrote a lil verse for the first time in a while,
the way some of you responded was like a child,
This is a forum about creative writing,
When you see what i can do your going to be spiting,




yup as Solace said , you start good, but then gradually i lose interest , you hve some good lines bro, but you need to fix the structures, try to use more vocab , insert some imagery and metaphors which give beauty to the piece , a little bit of multies to help the flow to be going on ,, you know these ingredients are the basics to build a good piece,, but you're at the start we all begin bad , so it's okay , but take critics to heart dont consider them as an insult like some of the members here do ,, so keep writing bro ,, and try to work more on your piece nd use some of the ingredients :y: ..


Thanks bruv i appreciate your encouragment, and nah dont worry i wont be losing any sleep over people not liking what i write, im pretty new to it, im going to keep practising though and hopefully get as good as some of the other guys on here, but yh thanks for the encouragement :y:
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Re: Lee O Mac Productionz

Postby Slim Zaddy » Mar 13th, '09, 12:02

leeomac wrote:
Slim Zaddy wrote:
leeomac wrote:Lee O Mac Productionz
Welcome to the Lee O Mac Productionz rap,
I gotta point to prove to some haters who happen to think im wack,
Just because i wrote a lil verse for the first time in a while,
the way some of you responded was like a child,
This is a forum about creative writing,
When you see what i can do your going to be spiting,




yup as Solace said , you start good, but then gradually i lose interest , you hve some good lines bro, but you need to fix the structures, try to use more vocab , insert some imagery and metaphors which give beauty to the piece , a little bit of multies to help the flow to be going on ,, you know these ingredients are the basics to build a good piece,, but you're at the start we all begin bad , so it's okay , but take critics to heart dont consider them as an insult like some of the members here do ,, so keep writing bro ,, and try to work more on your piece nd use some of the ingredients :y: ..


Thanks bruv i appreciate your encouragment, and nah dont worry i wont be losing any sleep over people not liking what i write, im pretty new to it, im going to keep practising though and hopefully get as good as some of the other guys on here, but yh thanks for the encouragement :y:


anytime man ,, :worship:
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Re: Lee O Mac Productionz

Postby Solace » Mar 13th, '09, 21:09

leeomac wrote:
Solace wrote:This was decent

Welcome to the Lee O Mac Productionz rap,
I gotta point to prove to some haters who happen to think im wack,
Just because i wrote a lil verse for the first time in a while,
the way some of you responded was like a child,
This is a forum about creative writing,
When you see what i can do your going to be spiting,
I am a whiteboy who actually knows how to keep a beat,
better than Usher knows how to move his feet,
People who first knocked me prepare to take a seat,

The rest was wack as fuck, didnt flow like before. Try more punches, the Usher thing was alright but you need more clever shit. And i still think your wack, you havent proved a point yet.


But the main thing i wanted to achieve from that rap, was that i wasnt as bad as everyone first thought, and as you said that first part was decent, so it must of been an improvement, but i will take into account what you said and work on it :y:

Yes it was an improvement, but at the stage im at i would never write something like that. By decent i meant decent on your level, keep it up, expanding the range of the artists you listen to will help. Listening to Canibus (if you actually can listen to him and enjoy him) will help you expand your vocabulary. Keep at the shit man :y:
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