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The Industry

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The Industry

Postby AOBrien09 » Apr 2nd, '09, 18:00

All they do mostly now is remix old music,
So sound quality improve's tho' talent doesn't,
So who's the main culprit who can't cut it,
When it comes to creating an inputting some-thing,
into producing their own music instrumental then ?
three quarter's of the industry probably,
see artists are like gambler's their just in it for makin money,
unlike that eminem's infinte no one spits that lyrically,
or they just don't try to put more effort in,
cause they know what they put out will be sellin,
not thinkin they should puttin final touches on it,
to improve it no they just cudn't give a s**t !.......

just something quick for my 1st one, feedback plz any pointer's on improvement would be appreciated :unsure:

draft 2 :
Sometimes a just wonder what the f**k happened,
to the industry, it's turned into comedy, but no'one's laughin,
and nothin's happening, but there will be when em come's back,
watch him eat em up, an lil wayne turn wack,
oop's lil wayne is wack, how the f**k could a forget that,
watch em relapse on these b**t**d's,
then we can relax an put this wackness past us,
(just try again but a very quick 1 lol)
Last edited by AOBrien09 on Apr 2nd, '09, 19:48, edited 1 time in total.
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Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
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Re: The Industry

Postby Emadyville » Apr 2nd, '09, 18:20

I really liked the concept of this, what you said was good, but this was more a paragraph then a verse, nothing really rhymed and it had pretty much no flow at all to it. So I guess work on trying to at least use end rhymes, and try to match up the number of syllables in each line so it has a flow to it. Keep working on it you'll improve :y:
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Re: The Industry

Postby AOBrien09 » Apr 2nd, '09, 19:12

Emadyville wrote:I really liked the concept of this, what you said was good, but this was more a paragraph then a verse, nothing really rhymed and it had pretty much no flow at all to it. So I guess work on trying to at least use end rhymes, and try to match up the number of syllables in each line so it has a flow to it. Keep working on it you'll improve :y:


thnks for the feedback rhymed to me but guess it's the way it sounded in my head :unsure: , guess that would really only work for audio then a don't have a mic though, also have no idea where to start. (feedback appreciated)
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"Believe me, BET and MTV
Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
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