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Just tryin a verse

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Just tryin a verse

Postby Samdog2 » Jun 10th, '09, 08:56

Its kinda short and i haven't wrote for a while just wanted to try it out again. flow might seem a little off as well but feedback is appreciated


You have now witnessed an unstoppable force
that poses as an obstacle course for other rappers in which I show hostile remorse
and there's no immovable objects of course, they can't coexist
so start shit and that will be a hazardous risk,
but if bitches do get on my shitlist, I'm sorta like a black hole
any asshole will disappear and be found dead with a cracked skull
the glass isn't half full, I'm not an optimistic person
admit it everyones going to hell this shit only gonna worsen
in that I'm certain, and to be honest i couldn't care less
despair and stress has left me prepared for success
but beware im possessed so don't you dare second guess,
I do reckon i'm blessed to be where I am in this mess
god damn ill leave you be i've had it with this
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Re: Just tryin a verse

Postby classthe_king » Jun 10th, '09, 16:42

uhhhh...that was alright, your right the flow was way off, and you need to find some way to make the rhymes go together. Not just random rhymes in random spots. Other then that it was alright though.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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