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Life Story

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Life Story

Postby D'Leh » Jun 11th, '09, 02:19

Im so sick and tired of this motherfuckin life
I guess I have to ended up with a knife
my family is down, tyin to act funny
But its seem just like a damn clown
yeah! this is my life story an believe me its not a corny one
its a story with pain, rage but every time I tell it
my hole world goes down, i can imagine how
turn it up better, i begin to rap
but its seems like im writing a letter, its out of my fuckin headed
Its a song a letter, I dont know yet
my girl just run out with the first motherfukers
who get her out of her brain coma
hell, definitely she's like my momma, haha


any response tell me what you think..... its the first verse in my life, haha dont hate
Let me eat your pussy while I shave you!
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Re: Life Story

Postby neversnooze » Jun 11th, '09, 07:00

well zurdito,

in all honesty, your life story was boring. lyrically it was terribly done, there was no rhyme and no multies. if you want to capture the audience i would suggest you redo this piece. the level of this piece is below amateurish.

all i can say now is just keep on practicing and before you write think about what you want to say and be creative.

i hope to read more improved work from you peace. 2/10 :sweating:
Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed
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Re: Life Story

Postby D'Leh » Jun 11th, '09, 18:51

shit...im bad
Let me eat your pussy while I shave you!
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