The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Quick Freestyle (Lil Wayne Mentioned ;) )

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Quick Freestyle (Lil Wayne Mentioned ;) )

Postby AOBrien09 » Jul 13th, '09, 22:33

this sufferin has got me fuckin stuck in,
my last breathe an am strugglin ,huffin and puffin,
to keep going sleep wanna do it, but screw it,
gotta advoid it for now like that swine flu shit,
keep it under rap's cause perhaps if a relapse,
to when used to be lazy, till a heard snap's and the claps,
hip hop got me off my feet a absorded it like blood on a tampax,
but for the good of hip hop am annoyed by wack's,
who destroyed the track's tell'em they ignore the fact's,
lil wayne's a martian ? so he claim's fuck off to where you reign,
so we can repair the pain, cause your lyric's are tiring,
used and over abused like by your daddy birdman,
that's why a figuire he made the song lollipop fuck him,
a slut an am chuckin, with this freestyle some punches at him,
do crunches but ain't building six pack's that's the spine in his back an,
he probably make six track's about a ba-ba-ba bad back man,
remove this stain like vanish unseeable like saddam in afghanistan,

:happy: :unsure: :(
Image
"Believe me, BET and MTV
Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
User avatar
AOBrien09
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Mar 30th, '09, 21:51
Location: England
Gender: Male

Re: Quick Freestyle (Lil Wayne Mentioned ;) )

Postby gutawafang » Jul 14th, '09, 03:02

Too many grammar mistakes and it takes away the definition of the freestyle. You got the flow but I didn't see the skills you put in this.
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Quick Freestyle (Lil Wayne Mentioned ;) )

Postby Solace » Jul 15th, '09, 21:34

gutawafang wrote:Too many grammar mistakes and it takes away the definition of the freestyle. You got the flow but I didn't see the skills you put in this.

I have to agree here. Keep at the spitting AOBrien09.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: Quick Freestyle (Lil Wayne Mentioned ;) )

Postby Fa-Q » Jul 15th, '09, 22:51

you should make a diss about wayne...maybe take some pointers from *ahem* the master

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=63752
User avatar
Fa-Q
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 8404
Joined: Dec 20th, '08, 21:15


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron