tell me what you think, this is my first time

[Cookzee]

Should i rectify
but whom could test if i
go too far with these rhymes
hell i'd testify
try and digest my lines
Mr. Inspector
I don't know when to shut up
it's fucked up
but i guess im high!
this is the result
when you sniffing 6 inches
of coke and forcing marihuana smoke
deep down in your throat
don't choke (cough cough)
let the mind slither
out of its binds mister
and go wherever the road goes
so let go, theres no hoes
holdin you back
be bold, contribute to rap
and don't slack
coz if you do, i'll come at you
quicker than God
who won't be able to help your ass
your lost
if you don't believe me ask Sac
he got killed
for opening his mouth when
shit got real
i don't speak through my head
only speak through this heart
which is part of the reason
my art, is twisted and dark
but aslong as i can still
come up with ill
ridiculous shit
that i could just throw out the world
like im serial killer
whom just jumped out of a thrilled
into wacky wierd murders u aint heard of
feel?
then you bet it imma do it
don't sweat it, im a fuse lit
you just aint gettin
the concept of my life for the music!


Like i said, it's like on of the first ones i've done, i don't think it's too bad in my opinion, let me know what you think, and if your gonna criticise, make it so i can use it, don't just be arrogant please:D thanks

[Cookzee]

thanks lol

[ritchieA]

that was good i liked it

[JPearson]

to me it seems like an old-skool flow, old skool never gets old

[Cookzee]

yeah, im influenced by the 90's rap era, hardcore lyrics, i can't deal with this hip-pop bullsh** we hear these days, feel me? it's a dying art we should of really kept

[gutawafang]

Nice man. It flows quite well.

haha:
if you don't believe me ask Sac
he got killed

[Solace]

I can definitely see you can grow into a decent writer, for now fix the structure as in:

Should i rectify
but whom could test if i
go too far with these rhymes
hell i'd testify

Should be:

Should I rectify but whom could test if I,
Go to far with these rhymes, hell I'd testify.

Keep at it.

[Cookzee]

who wants to see this recorded?

[Solace]

Me