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Start of verse

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Start of verse

Postby JPearson » Jul 31st, '09, 05:22

Structure is off but it does flow perfectly... bit more of a complex flow than normal, thought i'd try a song about love without a simple flow... this is just the start to a verse just wanted to know what people thought :y:

Our paths crossed and our hearts locked
you walked away and took the lock off of my heart and now it's open and it's stopped
and now my path's blocked
and I can't find a way around the rain the pain you're causing me is overflowing like there ain't a drain
but still I stay, within the depth of all the memories of everything we had, I love our past but these are enemies
'cause mentally, they taking me apart in pieces, each though I have of you is bitter sweet but need releasing from this never ending cycle of pain, torture and madness
I can't believe it's gone but can't believe I ever had this
the sadness, is building up and up and it ain't giving up, no matter what I try it seem that I just can't suffer enough
It will be like finding a nail in a coal mine
haystack
oh... like finding a haystack in a coal mine
JPearson
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