The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Escape [not finished]

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Escape [not finished]

Postby mcZu » Jul 29th, '09, 17:34

First verse and chorus, put the progress of this song on hold for the moment.. So any feedback is welcome, especially constructive :y:

[First verse]
My mind a villa, with a slum view –call it India
Temper of a killer; imprisoned mind like Mandela
Patient like Gandhi, tryna break out… but I
Can’t leave ‘till I have that Scylla –will I
Ever walk a straight path…
Or am I doomed to circle ‘round this rotary for days –fast?
Reaching for the sun at midnight
And as soon as that cuckoo is heard I switch sides
Wake up again at night; clear sky view, right…
Stuck on horizontal 8 avenue –with a canceled flight
Feeling like benign cancer that might…
Takeover but got spotted with keen sight
So I blame Zu… yeah right; behind some defense lines
Getting your point over is a matter of hindsight –and the right mind
So I write lines, to escape the façade and to say
Zu stays on that route ‘till he can say touché

[Chorus]
Take me away, yeah away…
Just make me escape…
Past the past ‘till the future is safe
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male

Re: Escape [not finished]

Postby mcZu » Jul 29th, '09, 17:38

$(@TTY B@Y wrote:i thought it was really good :sweating: will ya do audio?


Thanks Scotyy :y:

Yeah I'll record this as soon as I finish it and get my hands on a decent mic.
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male

Re: Escape [not finished]

Postby Drama Setter » Jul 29th, '09, 17:47

Nice Drop MCZU , your chorus is Dope :y:
Image
props to Coleon and DarkBlade
User avatar
Drama Setter
Role Model
Role Model
 
Posts: 3759
Joined: Mar 17th, '09, 21:13
Location: IRAN
Gender: Male

Re: Escape [not finished]

Postby mcZu » Jul 29th, '09, 17:56

drama setter wrote:Nice Drop MCZU , your chorus is Dope :y:


Thank you Drama :b:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male

Re: Escape [not finished]

Postby ritchieA » Jul 29th, '09, 23:32

yh that a gd shout scott, yh man u should do audio wud sound sick
ritchieA
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Jul 21st, '09, 15:21

Re: Escape [not finished]

Postby mcZu » Jul 30th, '09, 01:38

ritchieA wrote:yh that a gd shout scott, yh man u should do audio wud sound sick


Thanks JP (right? lol), I'll as soon as I get a better mic :b:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male

Re: Escape [not finished]

Postby Xray » Jul 30th, '09, 01:53

Shit is dramatic as hell. Seems like you were extremely pissed, and you just wanted to escape BADLY, cause damn that shit was INTENSE! Seems like you also switched your style of writing, seems more street. I think thats the best Zu verse I've read. Flow was really good man, for real great job.
Image
Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
User avatar
Xray
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9920
Joined: Feb 21st, '07, 04:37
Location: Australia
Gender: Male

Re: Escape [not finished]

Postby mcZu » Aug 2nd, '09, 12:17

Xray wrote:Shit is dramatic as hell. Seems like you were extremely pissed, and you just wanted to escape BADLY, cause damn that shit was INTENSE! Seems like you also switched your style of writing, seems more street. I think thats the best Zu verse I've read. Flow was really good man, for real great job.


Thanks Sajjad :b: :b:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

Follow Me!

McZu's Blog!
User avatar
mcZu
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7297
Joined: Jun 17th, '08, 14:21
Location: Rotterdam
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users