My Life

[BILI]

I wonder what is hell like if lifes this hard
Sometimes I think its nothing more then just playing cards
You either got to fuckin cheat or be damn lucky to win
And hope that only one day,God`ll forgive us for our sins
At this moment of my life I just feel like I wanna give up
Its like one long phone call on which I just wanna hang up
There is just no more a place for me where I can be happy
It just feels like this whole life is sooo crappy

This is like my second writing(this is firsthttp://www.forum.trshady.com/viewt ... 24&t=65162) so feed and tips plz

[BILI]

bump........anyone

[classthe_king]

bump........anyone

haha alright. I liked the message and the subject matter of the song. Really felt it. But try to add multis to your song and not just hard, card, win, sin, happy, crappy.

[BILI]

^^thx for the feed

[neversnooze]

very plain and simple. the message is short and to the point.

[D'Leh]

nice song mna...only things the multies....its something miss in my raps too homie but nice one dude!!!
check my finished song Fat fuck finisshed version...chek it if you want to

[mcZu]

Like the rest suggested, smart up your rhyme scheme. Try to add some more rhymes for the transitions and some wordplay/nameplay would be nice as well. But it's not bad.

[BILI]

Like the rest suggested, smart up your rhyme scheme. Try to add some more rhymes for the transitions and some wordplay/nameplay would be nice as well. But it's not bad.

thx homie appreciate it