whack?

[drasticlyhated]

criss cross this and that bitch ima right raps
here me on the track holy shit who is that
this white boy named ryan comin like an attack
that you aint even half, expect from the least of sacks
i came from the botom to stab, all you in my way,
today im a soldier till i colapse i stay strapped
with a 22, 3 glocks and a 9 that aint even half
of what i got you feelin me right? so here we come
drastic, omar and boom and dont forget the name when
when we step inside the room we keep the party going
untill we hit noon its perfect day bitch you know what it do

what do you guys think?its my rought draft i have 3 other styles of it
is it whack?

[Solace]

Were you talking about me? Lol (my names Omar)

Yeah it was bad but I can tell you're a beginner so it's nothing to worry about. Just practice your multies, thats the only thing thats wrong, oh and your spelling too. You do know what I'm talking about too right? Multi-syllable rhyming is when you rhyme each syllable.

eg. you rhymed right raps and is that

criss cross this and that bitch ima right raps
here me on the track holy shit who is that

where as this would rhyme better

criss cross this and that bitch ima right raps
Who raps like that?, not you cause you write wack.

Just keep at it, Ill check out your improvement for sure dude.

[gutawafang]

Do as Omar says.

For this piece, the structure is good at least. So cheers for that. But yeah, the flow was bad because of lack of multis.

And you remind of myself when i first started in the multi cypher thread. I suggest you practice there. You can also seek help around here.

[drasticlyhated]

thanks guys lol i really apreciate it and i will definitly work on my multi's