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Broken I

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Broken I

Postby gutawafang » Aug 30th, '09, 18:31

If you took it seriously, I wouldn't be so sensitive
Now all you gotta do's cover your face and defend yer teeth
I wouldn't bow, wouldn't a fucking inch bend to give
No chances, I'll accept that you're meant to leave
I'll walk away, I predicted it ends like this
How you supposed a fucking man fights this?
I guess he finds an Angel, a shoulder lent to grieve
Over what he lost, then a pair of wings sent to lift
Levitate him without picking him up with hands
Taking advantage but it's just corrupt-pretence
Tries to calm the situation but it's just intense
He can't trust his friends, his last intent
Was he dusts defense, he thrusts offense
He casts, dispense, his suspense his sense
I would gladly walk away without any talk or say
Without any mock or lay, I lay off decay
But here's the opposite of that, here's shit so sad
Tit for tat, I shall fucking beat your hat
Nothing could stop me, Gosling wouldn't bother
No money that you propose, no Bill to fucking offer
Now that Gates have been closed, this rate you're disclosed
But hate is what's supposed to fade the fucking ghost
And it's how these words wihtout nameplay causes you to think
Like how a song beat pauses when you sing
32 bars, but no information on my target
But you read it and you know I'm not being farfetched
It's just being me, not as cool as your favourite Star Trek
But I'll be cool if I see my rhymes having cars wrecked
I hate you, you're my enemy till I fucking die
Breaking up when we didn't even start, that is why
It's repeated projects, incomplete, unfulfilled
I'm out of this subject now, sue me man, don't chill
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Re: Broken I

Postby emzee-frenzy » Aug 30th, '09, 18:37

good work bro :flower: , is it to a girl or a friend? :unsure:
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throat slitting bitches in public then start killing witnesses" - emzee
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Re: Broken I

Postby gutawafang » Aug 30th, '09, 18:39

emzee-frenzy wrote:good work bro :flower: , is it to a girl or a friend? :unsure:

LOL. It was meant to end my crush for someone but it kinda sucked so I didn't tell her to read. But maybe she's read... LOL.

Thanks for reading and understanding it by the way. Appreciate it. :happy:
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Re: Broken I

Postby emzee-frenzy » Aug 30th, '09, 18:40

gutawafang wrote:
emzee-frenzy wrote:good work bro :flower: , is it to a girl or a friend? :unsure:

LOL. It was meant to end my crush for someone but it kinda sucked so I didn't tell her to read. But maybe she's read... LOL.

oh :D who knows? , anyways nice verse :flower:
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Re: Broken I

Postby classthe_king » Aug 30th, '09, 18:49

I thought the begining was weird and I couldn't catch on to the flow at all, but towards the middle i started to catch on, and after i did it was a really good piece. Keep it up.
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Re: Broken I

Postby gutawafang » Aug 30th, '09, 19:08

classthe_king wrote:I thought the begining was weird and I couldn't catch on to the flow at all, but towards the middle i started to catch on, and after i did it was a really good piece. Keep it up.

MAN, thanks for the feed. I totally appreciate it. And yeah, it was meant to be like that. :D
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Re: Broken I

Postby gutawafang » Aug 31st, '09, 18:41

Bum.
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Re: Broken I

Postby Slim Zaddy » Aug 31st, '09, 18:52

,, well it's good you bump it .. cuz i did'nt notice it till now my bro .. anyway ,, man i can tell you have improved a lot .. not your best piece to date ,, but still a sick verse,, i liked the content, your rhymes and lyrics were to point ,, you have some good emotions and multies,, but you flow is on and off at some parts ,, try to fix that ., and it will be a perfect piece ,, like your previous one ,,, both ways ,, keep it up homie .. :y:
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Re: Broken I

Postby gutawafang » Aug 31st, '09, 18:54

Arigato Zaddy-san! :worship:
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