what ya think?

[staten island shady]

y cant any1 just say congradulations
im gettin kinda tired, of everybody hatin
i was lookin for a break and finally im breakin
sorta like a train thats arriving at the station
but i cant slow down cuz i gotta get that bacon
i aint talkin bout a cop but the money i b making
im always being truthful so u know im never fakin
always bein honest so dont let me b mistaken
dont put ya hands on me cuz i hate it when im shaken
u b starin at my buzz like i m being shaven
always up on shit so no need to b awakened
all the phoney smiles and the hands that i b shakin
is the reason i keep makin all the money that i rake in

[Solace]

Write with this structure. Everything was just bad except for

i was lookin for a break and finally im breakin
sorta like a train thats arriving at the station

and

u b starin at my buzz like i m being shaven

Lines like "im always being truthful so u know im never fakin" is just..."im always good so you know im not bad"

Its like...Come on man.

Practice, I can see the effort on multies on this though.