The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Don't Ask

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Don't Ask

Postby AOBrien09 » Sep 7th, '09, 19:25

down and out, don't ask him an never say out about,
this clown he's let out, in this life aka bout',
his constant fight, his constant everlastin depression,
another let down, done, an he's waitin for the next one,
his life is best but gone, thinkin why is he livin,
while the drink sink's in, he continplate's dieing, just give in,
he can't get the women, constantly disrespected by them an,
the scar's he's got'em, cause of this, he's gettin sour like lemon,
all feelings is turning into this constantly, it's why he's also bitter,
that why he's gotta spit'a, rhyme lyrically, he's all for a quitter,
but if he was a quitter he wouldn't be here survivin life now,
he wouldn't be keep going fighting with the right an poah !,
gettin knocked down but gettin back up, like that keri hilson song,
like kanye he's gettin stronger, harder,faster without pill's or smokin a bong,
he's just startin to advance, makin a chance, takin a glance,
at hope, no more debatin or doubt's, hatin on out,
that knock's him back, he's the don, the king now, bow

Was in a hurry here :'(
Image
"Believe me, BET and MTV
Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
User avatar
AOBrien09
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Mar 30th, '09, 21:51
Location: England
Gender: Male

Re: Don't Ask

Postby classthe_king » Sep 7th, '09, 19:30

Good job :y: Multis were good some places and need work other places. Same with the flow, keep it up though.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
User avatar
classthe_king
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 14163
Joined: Feb 12th, '09, 02:30
Location: Ohio
Gender: Male

Re: Don't Ask

Postby AOBrien09 » Sep 7th, '09, 20:57

classthe_king wrote:Good job :y: Multis were good some places and need work other places. Same with the flow, keep it up though.


yeah flow bit off didn't have a chance to re-read it cause was in a hurry, thnks for the feed :flower:
Image
"Believe me, BET and MTV
Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
User avatar
AOBrien09
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Mar 30th, '09, 21:51
Location: England
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron