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mEnTaL bReAkDoWn!

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mEnTaL bReAkDoWn!

Postby lilrossy » Sep 7th, '09, 12:37

sittin in my room, starin out da window at da moon,
in a state of gloom, heads like someone blowin a balloon,
hate waitin for da boom, thinkin sucicide soon,
hands together like the strike of noon, destiny feels doomed,
cant tune it out, hav no doubt dat losings my route,
got choices like an intersection, but da direction im goin is south,
so i hide myself in dis house, feel like never leaven dis couch,
wanna reach out, but i feel as wanted as a fuckin brussel sprout,
shuffle nd shout in my sleep, wake up nd snuffle nd weep,
dats enuff ta feel weak, but i burry dat shit deep,
wipe da tears from my cheek nd then i find my feat,
hold my head high, put on dis smile nd hit da street,
like someone who wont eat meat, feel im only livin half my life,
never got to da point were my wrists were scarred from dis knife,
but the act nd thought of it are alike, like a golfer nd a dyke, (think about it)
now im jus like, Fuck polite, im runnin a fuckin muck tonite,
bout ta lose my mind, shits been builden up for quite some time,
fuck skewl, i resign, and fuck workin part-time,
ima sit on da doll, sit ere eatin chips nd dip, nd unwind,
tell my coach ta eat a dick dat prick, tellin me ta sit on da pine,
im gettin wound up, im sorry, ive lost da plot, im gone,
sittin in a libary, wit my cock in a sock, watchin porn,
speedin past da cop shop, flippin da bird while beepin da horn,
get out pass out on da floor, tell doc, these pills, i need more, ive swallowed dem all!
"Too fatal, unable to crash
Sluts I introduce to anal call me a pain in the ass"
"Got hoes suspicious. Even one peg leg bitches
After I came, fucked em with they own leg
They ain't know the difference"
-Copywrite
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Re: mEnTaL bReAkDoWn!

Postby classthe_king » Sep 7th, '09, 17:26

Was pretty good. It could use a little more multi's but thats alright. You not spelling alot of your words right did get annoying though.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: mEnTaL bReAkDoWn!

Postby Emadyville » Sep 7th, '09, 18:41

That was pretty good, some rhymes seemed kinda forced but they were decent, spellin did get annoying I spell shit like I say them when I write verses but if you post them you should probably change some of them, just a suggestion, good drop man :y:
Menzo wrote:Its cuz you're dope and Daddy Dubs. No one fucks with that


I love you Daren
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Re: mEnTaL bReAkDoWn!

Postby lilrossy » Sep 7th, '09, 22:34

thnx for the feedbak guys, sos bout the spelling, I'll try and stop.
"Too fatal, unable to crash
Sluts I introduce to anal call me a pain in the ass"
"Got hoes suspicious. Even one peg leg bitches
After I came, fucked em with they own leg
They ain't know the difference"
-Copywrite
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