The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Hate This Place

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Hate This Place

Postby AOBrien09 » Oct 27th, '09, 15:56

I feel downgraded my clown's image won't be faded,
around here my mind's debated whether a should just take it,
or move on to better place where it's less of a waste,
where you don't have to hesistate, best hold up wait,
am not sayin out of my city though, cause my city ain't my foe,
the estate's an the state there in are so that's where the hate go,
hatin on it like wayne an drake oh, little out of context,
an like my last spit that would be "spittin nonsense",
am not seeing no check's am broke like garbage-men,
an ain't seen much carnage, but a know it goes on an that's honest,
the fact everyone round here think's it's a contest,
too act hard but then end up beaten after the big promise,
that they will beat a certain someone up,
an their the one being hurt an it's not some dumb luck,
it's called gettin what you deserve when they got their ass whooped,
an you got your trash aka slut who think she's all that huh,
like she's the craft of a model but the nicotine, the attack from the fag,
has caused her skin to start to sag, at a early age,
am sick of this place, this drag, it's makin me clearly raged,





:angry:
Last edited by AOBrien09 on Oct 27th, '09, 17:32, edited 1 time in total.
Image
"Believe me, BET and MTV
Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
User avatar
AOBrien09
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Mar 30th, '09, 21:51
Location: England
Gender: Male

Re: Hate This Place

Postby eminemgirl1234 » Oct 27th, '09, 16:15

AOBrien09 wrote:I feel downgraded my clown's image won't be faded,
around here my mind's debated whether a should just take it,
or move on to better place where it's less of a waiste,
where you don't have to hesistate, best hold up wait,
am not sayin out of my city though, cause my city ain't my foe,
the estate's an the state there in are so that's where the hate go,
hatin on it like wayne an drake oh, little out of context,
an like my last spit that would be "spittin nonsense",
am not seeing no check's am broke like garbage-men,
an ain't seen much carnage, but a know it goes on an that's honest,
the fact everyone round here think's it's a contest,
too act hard but then end up beaten after the big promise,
that they will beat a certain someone up,
an their the one being hurt an it's not some dumb luck,
it's called gettin what you deserve when they got their ass whooped,
an you got your trash aka slut who think she's all that huh,
like she's the craft of a model but the nicotine, the attack from the fag,
has caused her skin to start to sag, at a early age,
am sick of this place, this drag, it's makin me clearly raged,





:angry:



Um, W-A-S-T-E and whether a...what? and also why you mad?There's no need to be mad... and also I bet the place hates you too.
"Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know, feels like I been down this road before.
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me,
soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like Déjà Vu, I wanna get away from this place I do,
but I can't and I wont say I tried but I know that's a lie cuz I don't,
and why I just don't know...

Malina a.k.a Mickey

"Ignorance is your new best friend!"-Paramore
User avatar
eminemgirl1234
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sep 2nd, '09, 15:31
Location: Hillbillyville, AL. known as Mobile... :-(
Gender: Female

Re: Hate This Place

Postby AOBrien09 » Oct 27th, '09, 17:31

eminemgirl1234 wrote:
AOBrien09 wrote:I feel downgraded my clown's image won't be faded,
around here my mind's debated whether a should just take it,
or move on to better place where it's less of a waiste,
where you don't have to hesistate, best hold up wait,
am not sayin out of my city though, cause my city ain't my foe,
the estate's an the state there in are so that's where the hate go,
hatin on it like wayne an drake oh, little out of context,
an like my last spit that would be "spittin nonsense",
am not seeing no check's am broke like garbage-men,
an ain't seen much carnage, but a know it goes on an that's honest,
the fact everyone round here think's it's a contest,
too act hard but then end up beaten after the big promise,
that they will beat a certain someone up,
an their the one being hurt an it's not some dumb luck,
it's called gettin what you deserve when they got their ass whooped,
an you got your trash aka slut who think she's all that huh,
like she's the craft of a model but the nicotine, the attack from the fag,
has caused her skin to start to sag, at a early age,
am sick of this place, this drag, it's makin me clearly raged,





:angry:



Um, W-A-S-T-E and whether a...what? and also why you mad?There's no need to be mad... and also I bet the place hates you too.


whether a should just take living their, a don't really hate the place just finding it hard to find stuff to write about an this is all I could think of, a don't literally hate it :tounge2: .
Image
"Believe me, BET and MTV
Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
User avatar
AOBrien09
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Mar 30th, '09, 21:51
Location: England
Gender: Male

Re: Hate This Place

Postby eminemgirl1234 » Oct 27th, '09, 22:35

Ok, I'm sorry, and plus whether I should live there...you know what...where are you from...England, huh? Well, I pretty sure they have a English Dictonary there if not then I can send you one if you like...Ok, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that, I not really that nasty alright. and plus where is there?
"Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know, feels like I been down this road before.
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me,
soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like Déjà Vu, I wanna get away from this place I do,
but I can't and I wont say I tried but I know that's a lie cuz I don't,
and why I just don't know...

Malina a.k.a Mickey

"Ignorance is your new best friend!"-Paramore
User avatar
eminemgirl1234
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sep 2nd, '09, 15:31
Location: Hillbillyville, AL. known as Mobile... :-(
Gender: Female

Re: Hate This Place

Postby Solace » Oct 27th, '09, 23:01

This wouldve been pretty damn good if you had a steady flow with it (imo flow was off in many areas) and if the rhymes were more multi-syllable. Keep at it dude. You've improved a lot.


@eminemgirl, stop being a bitch.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: Hate This Place

Postby eminemgirl1234 » Oct 27th, '09, 23:03

Solace wrote:This wouldve been pretty damn good if you had a steady flow with it (imo flow was off in many areas) and if the rhymes were more multi-syllable. Keep at it dude. You've improved a lot.


@eminemgirl, stop being a bitch.


^ Yeah I agree with him.

I don't mean to...I just...I'll be in the moment where I have to be a bitch...I'm sorry! :'(
"Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know, feels like I been down this road before.
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me,
soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like Déjà Vu, I wanna get away from this place I do,
but I can't and I wont say I tried but I know that's a lie cuz I don't,
and why I just don't know...

Malina a.k.a Mickey

"Ignorance is your new best friend!"-Paramore
User avatar
eminemgirl1234
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sep 2nd, '09, 15:31
Location: Hillbillyville, AL. known as Mobile... :-(
Gender: Female

Re: Hate This Place

Postby Solace » Oct 27th, '09, 23:05

eminemgirl1234 wrote:
Solace wrote:This wouldve been pretty damn good if you had a steady flow with it (imo flow was off in many areas) and if the rhymes were more multi-syllable. Keep at it dude. You've improved a lot.


@eminemgirl, stop being a bitch.


^ Yeah I agree with him.

I don't mean to...I just...I'll be in the moment where I have to be a bitch...I'm sorry! :'(

Alright then. :unsure:
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: Hate This Place

Postby eminemgirl1234 » Oct 27th, '09, 23:06

^uh-uh...
"Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know, feels like I been down this road before.
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me,
soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like Déjà Vu, I wanna get away from this place I do,
but I can't and I wont say I tried but I know that's a lie cuz I don't,
and why I just don't know...

Malina a.k.a Mickey

"Ignorance is your new best friend!"-Paramore
User avatar
eminemgirl1234
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sep 2nd, '09, 15:31
Location: Hillbillyville, AL. known as Mobile... :-(
Gender: Female

Re: Hate This Place

Postby Relapse.LP » Oct 28th, '09, 01:19

:o

LOVE.
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Hate This Place

Postby eminemgirl1234 » Oct 28th, '09, 15:36

Amadeo wrote:
eminemgirl1234 wrote:Ok, I'm sorry, and plus whether I should live there...you know what...where are you from...England, huh? Well, I pretty sure they have a English Dictonary there if not then I can send you one if you like...Ok, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that, I not really that nasty alright. and plus where is there?

of course you meant to say that. if you didn't, you would have backspaced & deleted the message. there's an excuse for saying bitchy stuff like this in real life (where we can't backspace).


True.
"Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don't know, feels like I been down this road before.
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me,
soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like Déjà Vu, I wanna get away from this place I do,
but I can't and I wont say I tried but I know that's a lie cuz I don't,
and why I just don't know...

Malina a.k.a Mickey

"Ignorance is your new best friend!"-Paramore
User avatar
eminemgirl1234
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 481
Joined: Sep 2nd, '09, 15:31
Location: Hillbillyville, AL. known as Mobile... :-(
Gender: Female

Re: Hate This Place

Postby AOBrien09 » Oct 28th, '09, 16:16

Solace wrote:This wouldve been pretty damn good if you had a steady flow with it (imo flow was off in many areas) and if the rhymes were more multi-syllable. Keep at it dude. You've improved a lot.




Thank's flow was abit off when I re-read it, it's just at the time a was writing it sounded ok.
Image
"Believe me, BET and MTV
Are gonna grieve when we leave, dawg fo sheezy
Can't leave rap alone the game needs me"
User avatar
AOBrien09
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 428
Joined: Mar 30th, '09, 21:51
Location: England
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron