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murder she wrote ( revised "murder" track)

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murder she wrote ( revised "murder" track)

Postby tjb » Oct 28th, '09, 02:17

Fool me once and thts not alright its a must
another will bite the dust you know im gonna bust
an fool me twice an ull be runnin, ill be runnin to gunnin to
yelling wheres my money fool?!
you'll be pleadin screaming for your life
if you think I'm jokin cuz nah I ain't no joker
stik a ht stove poker into where ur daddys dick poked ya
yup my lines is potent an they call me thought provoking
but what's rele mind provokin is my gunstill smoking,
even when i die my message will remain the same forever totin
an every single lines potent, cotaining the violence I'm promoting
the violence in my eyes tht seems to be causing all this pain
an i cant make it go away even though its making them insane
an making bitches cry making bitches want to die
consider thoughts of suicide an just when there on the brink of suicide
I'll push ya, look into ur eyes, tell u it was do or die
an it don't bother me cuz u had to bother me in the 1st place
to get in this situation now u see
an im used to it so bulgin eyes is a regular eyesite to me
an for my ears it's just deadly screams
but deadly means something completely different to me
cuz as soon as I see em there myswell be dead as can be
like already in the coffin, dead walkin
a revolva to the head, already pulled the trigger
equivalent to already dead
and if the cops come dont worry its a cold case
cuz ill fuck up the feds straight from foot to face
layin face down in a pool of blood mixed with a little mud
burning in hell well my heads hangin high from above
not heaven nah not heaven no ill nvr get there
so you better prepare to meet me down there
so get to ready to tear a 2nd time
well ....
this is murder she wrote so ill see you in hell
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Re: murder she wrote ( revised "murder" track)

Postby mcZu » Oct 28th, '09, 23:40

Couldn't really find the flow.. concept is not bad, rhyme scheme is good and overall it's okay. Keep it up.
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
- Lupe Fiasco

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