watch me vanish (in progress, please feed)

[Rain Matrix]

what cha know about Lonliness it's like depression Only It's a little more Personal
I guess I Deserve it Tho it's just me and this Verse I Wrote as I Work with Those

Words I Know when I Search my Skull I'm steady feeling like the Last in Line
countless thoughts Attack my Mind while memories bring me Back in Time

making sure I hate the Past I Find sometimes I'm ashamed That it's Mine
when your at the end of your rope, eventually your gonna Have ta Climb

I almost wanna lose my grip and let you Carry On seeing as how I can't Repair the Wrongs
I question myself but I don't Dare Respond untill I say fuck the world I've been There too Long

I'm Prepared ta Bomb any of my enemies with gasoline rain and my Spare Napalm
I'll choke your throat untill all of your Air is Gone my presence here isn't Very Strong

to be truthfull he's Sorry He's been making Remarks like These so before you Start to Speak
promise you'll judge me Impartially not having my son around me is like losing a Part of Me

I can't believe that I have a Heart that Beats it' could be that it's so Large it Bleeds
I took your name and Carved it Deep it's Hard ta Breathe there's no need to Argue... Peace


watch me Vanish into a world where no one knows where I Am
I'll be beyond the Planets somewhere in a foreign Land
there's no need to Panic, cuz this is all part of the Plan
to destroy the Anguish I don't just make it rain I keep it Damp

[Fa-Q]

Well I'm not gonna blast you for it but structure is important for us if you want feedback. Its like this, if you read a book if you didn't have commas and punchuation then it would be extremely hard to read. But since yhere is punchuation its not like one run on sentence. That being said good stuff good emotion and rhyming....just separate the lines

[Solace]

Sick shit, always loved your inner rhymes and multies Rain. Drop some audio!

[embm]

good shit
yea make the structur betta

[Fa-Q]

Goddamn man good fuckin great ass multis....I'm jealous of some of those multis, good drop man...structure tho still is poor

[Solace]

^Lmfao you fed twice

[Fa-Q]

Solace call an ambulance....I have fuckin grade A amneisia