Hey Music [My Verse, full verse]

by **SajN** » Sep 19th, '08, 09:59

Here is the full verse. I'm at the school's computer, so I had to try remembering the last lines, so I'm not pretty sure if I wrote them just like I have them in my own computer.

Some lines might be a little longer, but they work with the beat.

I looked at you as a friend, not entertainment/
Someone who carried me, through my days when/
I wasn't SajN and, I didn't knew I was changin'/
But you made me, look at everything as a play land/
But you also made me, stay away from Satan/
You were so close to me, you could be my relation/
Who kept me sane when I lost my patience/
You held me up, and gave me the motivation I needed/
To carry on with life, and not leave it/
To believe in the dreams that I was receivin’/
I wanna give you somethin’ back, so we can get even/
You were there to support me when my heart kept freezin’/
You made it stop bleedin’, and made my life easy/
So I made a verse, because it was always you/
But now it’s my turn, I promise you, but first/
Thank you for what you’ve done, this is an homage to you/

Any comment is appreciated :y:

by **Emadyville** » Sep 19th, '08, 13:00

Very good, the flow in my head made that sound sick. The rhymes aren't crazy but somehow they worked for me as just sounding really good. :y:

by **Steve Spag** » Sep 19th, '08, 16:03

Pretty dope stuff man. The ending kinda reminded me of The Game in "Pain", paying homage to you, haha, but it was sick.

But you also made me, stay away from Satan/
You were so close to me, you could be my relation/
Who kept me sane when I lost my patience/
You held me up, and gave me the motivation I needed/
To carry on with life, and not leave it/
To believe in the dreams that I was receivin’/
I wanna give you somethin’ back, so we can get even/
You were there to support me when my heart kept freezin’/
You made it stop bleedin’, and made my life easy/

Those are my fav. lyrics from it. Pretty deep shit right there, and it reminds me of something I'd write, so I love it, haha.

Keeep it up bro, deffinetly good shit.
:y:

by **SajN** » Sep 19th, '08, 18:46

Thanks for feed to both of you :worship:

I've nver heard "Pain" lol ..

More feeds please :happy:

by **Arabian Shady** » Sep 19th, '08, 19:09

likin that shit right there man, lyrics not complex but workin nice, flow is dope and i had no problems with it,i listened to a couple audio tracks by you as well, i just wana say that you have improved a whole fukin lot since the time you used to post in this section,altho i suggest you kick it up another notch and get in2 writin some complex rhymes and improve your vocab and all cause this is your time to do that, if you delay it a lil longer ppl tend to overlook talent,so keep it up and 7 up that :y: