Blackness

[HipHopHead]

I'll begin with the creative aspect. This was very bland. I'm glad you threw some pictures in cause it kind of took me away from realizing how generic it was. I like the idea but all of the content was that same old "slit my wrists" stuff. I feel like this has been written a hundred times already.

On to the mechanics. Great flow and your rhymes were very discreet as K Block touched on. I think you should have came with a more basic scheme to be honest but it was still nice. I think a touch more rhymes since this is a written piece and relies on people to read it to be fed would have helped a lot.

Overall: Decent piece. Just come more original next time and it'll be an improvement.

[ThomasJ]

First of all, thanks for checking it out.

@k block, that means a lot coming from you bro.
Yeah, I'm trying to... Well, experiment.
It didn't turn out too well, but hey, who cares lol

@HipHopHead
I agree about the content, it was generic.
I just had that forest image in my head stuck for a long time, and I needed to kinda vent haha.

And as for the rhyming, I'll keep that in mind.

Thanks guys.