I'm Still Alive.

[Sam.]

Yea, sorry Sam for not feeding ya earlier, I wasn't on for a majority of this week due to school work, nothing personal bro

No problem .

[Sam.]

Final Bump.

[mdemaz]

Pretty nice set of bars man, how long did it take you to write?
And what was your influences?

[Sam.]

Pretty nice set of bars man, how long did it take you to write?
And what was your influences?

It took me a lot of time ,maybe more than 10 hours split in 2days ,that is 5 hours each day because I was working at my office and writing it on my Pad side by side.As far as Influences is concerned I cooked up this story in my mind and was gonna make it a two verse song but settled for this 16 .

[Spyder]

was pretty good man, some of the syllables didnt match up so it threw off the flow.
i had to read this slow to get it the first time, but i feel where this was a more dramatic piece it was intended for a slow flow.

needs to be longer imo. i know these lazy asses cant read much so only short things get fed, like dining on the floor.


but anyhow good piece man keep it up, try to match the syllables so there is at least the same number at every line. and rhyming in couplets hold the flow better

[Sam.]

was pretty good man, some of the syllables didnt match up so it threw off the flow.
i had to read this slow to get it the first time, but i feel where this was a more dramatic piece it was intended for a slow flow.

needs to be longer imo. i know these lazy asses cant read much so only short things get fed, like dining on the floor.


but anyhow good piece man keep it up, try to match the syllables so there is at least the same number at every line. and rhyming in couplets hold the flow better

The flow is meant to be a little slow ,you got that right .
&
Thanks man ,I'll take this advice and work on it ,so the next time I post do look around to see the progress .

[Atone]

If you made that cover thats dope as hell, and i like the story to your lyrics there, i actually have an old song i wrote sort of in that style but it was somethin i wrote for somkebody else to use, it was a country song

good stuff tho man

[Words]

Lots of poetry in this.
I was a little of on flow of it, but I could be misreading it. Overall a really good piece.

she is my wife now ,I move ahead and kiss the bride ,
like the shore that missed the tide couldn’t feel the bliss inside ,

Favorite part^

[Mr.DGAF]

Really like this man, good stuff. It's extremely poetic, and very deep. As usual from you, the rhymes are solid and the flow is good. But you nailed the subject matter, I really liked that. My favorite part of this peice, honestly, was how poetic it was.

Return the favor?: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=126852

[Sam.]

Thanks guys .I'll get to feeding soon .
I can't believe that y'll liked it so much thank again .

[Words]

Think you could feed me back? Really apreaciated the feed you gave me last time.
viewtopic.php?f=24&t=126659

[gutawafang]

vocab is superb. nice multis here and there. flow could be a lot better. injections doesnt rhyme so well with expressions in my opinion. other than that, good.

[Sam.]

vocab is superb. nice multis here and there. flow could be a lot better. injections doesnt rhyme so well with expressions in my opinion. other than that, good.

Thanks .

I can make them Rhyme with my accent though .