Throw it All Away ft. Alieus (Track 2)

[Emadyville]

Damn, both verses were fire.

Loved the flow on DGAF's, and the storytelling was amazing. I really loved the flow/rhymes of:

She staggered back and handed Jason every dollar, shocked
But as he went to bail police rolled up and hollered "Stop!"

Menzo the flow was pretty damn good, storytelling was on point and the part that really flowed/rhymed the best to me was this:

He silenced, winced and grimaced, tryna describe what he just witnessed
Inside, the pic within it made him cry as if committed

overall guys, amazing piece

[Mr.DGAF]

It's okay though, you guys are so weak you need the feed anyway.

Weak like a newborn trying to bench press tbh.

And thanks for the feed Emady, glad you liked it haha.

[Man1x]

Man, nice story telling from both you. Menzo took the technicalities and story telling aspects in all fronts: multis, flow, imagery, drama, twist, emotion. However, I believe that DGAF thought of this concept correct? Anyway (I don't know how this was written and how the collab formed but) that shows me you have a mind for great stories which is something over looked in rap today. It's not all about the multiz and punchlines and braggin'. Stories are the most amazing thing, they are gems that will be forever remembered. So here is my advice, stick with stories focus on IMAGERY, EMOTION, DRAMA, REALITY, & TWISTS. Then after these are met work on the technicalities. Just think of it this way, what Eminem track do you rememeber and like to listen to more, "Stan" or "Won't Back Down." Stan is more rememberable and has more value in my opinion so stick with story telling as your main type of track that you write because, if this is your idea, you have a talent for it and should remain in that category. Let other rappers do the punchlines. Now here is where you can improve, you better words that don't seem odd in certain places such as "He walked outside with caution, he just can't be caught by cops" take out just, it (to me) makes it flow a lot better and just seems overall better, in know this is tiny but those are the things that matter. There some other spots in your verse where you could apply this to improve it but not to many that it diminishes quality. Also this line, "He rolled up to a bank and told the lady "Pay me please!", that shit is oddly worded and was the glaring mistake in this whole piece. The line is fine until "Pay me please!" First, he is a robber not a hobo asking for charity. Second, since when has a robber ever said please or pay me? They usually say things that are offensive and are threats. I understand you did it for the rhyme but that line throws off the other lines because what teller will be afraid of a man that said "Please!" Sounds like he's more scared than her, maybe that's the way you wanted it though and you didn't do it for the rhyme, IDK. Also, your rhymes are very simple but thats okay, just make the words more diverse than something like bang and bank. Lastly, nice foreshadowing "He fiended for things that he couldn't reach without a BANG." Don't know if that was intended. Sorry if I came off as a dick, that's not what I intended, I just want you to be able to make the best stories possible because if this is your idea, you got a mind for it and should expand your skill set and not be pinned down. Good verse from both of you, loved this guys. PEACE!

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks for the in depth feed man, that shits really appreciated. I thought up the concept, wrote the entire first verse and left it up to Menzo to finish the story, and he killed it.


With the simple rhyming, I sort ofagree, and that was kinda my intent for this piece. I'm trying to tap into every aspect of writing on this EPish thing, because I plan to sort of step down from writing. This was all about the story, with some two to three syllable multies sprinkled in. Though I don't think I kept it too simple, but at the same time I see what you're saying.

In regards to the just can't be caught by cops line, I thought about that one a lot. To me, it flowed better with the extra syllable in there, so that's why I put it there. I don't know if it was just me in that case or what.

The pay me please line was sort of reflecting on how Jason had no idea what he was doing, like he was kind of a good guy that just did what he needed to make it big. Also, I kind of envisioned that part in particular sounding ad libbed, like something out of a Slim Shady type song.

Really appreciate the feed man, I'll try and step my game up for the next piece.

[Man1x]

Thanks for the in depth feed man, that shits really appreciated. I thought up the concept, wrote the entire first verse and left it up to Menzo to finish the story, and he killed it.


With the simple rhyming, I sort ofagree, and that was kinda my intent for this piece. I'm trying to tap into every aspect of writing on this EPish thing, because I plan to sort of step down from writing. This was all about the story, with some two to three syllable multies sprinkled in. Though I don't think I kept it too simple, but at the same time I see what you're saying.

In regards to the just can't be caught by cops line, I thought about that one a lot. To me, it flowed better with the extra syllable in there, so that's why I put it there. I don't know if it was just me in that case or what.

The pay me please line was sort of reflecting on how Jason had no idea what he was doing, like he was kind of a good guy that just did what he needed to make it big. Also, I kind of envisioned that part in particular sounding ad libbed, like something out of a Slim Shady type song.

Really appreciate the feed man, I'll try and step my game up for the next piece.

Glad you understand, don't think I hated it. It was amazing. Vocals would go a long way in making it a clearer representation of what you want it to resemble. It's much easier to find fault in just written songs because they are open to more interpretation. I guess that's the beauty of an amazing story, so many interpretations yet it is focused and everyone gets the same message no matter what angle it is observed from, eh?

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

All I can say is Wow, that was dope as hell. Both verses were crazy. gave me goose bumps. nice.