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Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Element. » Jan 2nd, '10, 20:08

Emadyville wrote:I liked slimsoxshady's the best, chet's was good cause it was entertaining, bullet's didn;t flow very well, and edge yours coulda flowed a little better too. Keep writing guys :y:



what about mine?
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Emadyville » Jan 2nd, '10, 20:13

Smithy wrote:
Emadyville wrote:I liked slimsoxshady's the best, chet's was good cause it was entertaining, bullet's didn;t flow very well, and edge yours coulda flowed a little better too. Keep writing guys :y:



what about mine?



very simple rhymes, def sounded like a beginners verse, didn;t like the nuclear bomb/firebomb use in the first 2 lines, use one not both it's repetitive, keep writing I wasn't tryin to be harsh :y:
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Element. » Jan 2nd, '10, 21:05

Emadyville wrote:
Smithy wrote:
Emadyville wrote:I liked slimsoxshady's the best, chet's was good cause it was entertaining, bullet's didn;t flow very well, and edge yours coulda flowed a little better too. Keep writing guys :y:



what about mine?



very simple rhymes, def sounded like a beginners verse, didn;t like the nuclear bomb/firebomb use in the first 2 lines, use one not both it's repetitive, keep writing I wasn't tryin to be harsh :y:


I know just give out tips will help me become better.
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby bullet_boy46 » Jan 2nd, '10, 21:23

yea, ie been focusing on my school work for being a doctor and such, but thanks for advice, will do ;)
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Solace » Jan 2nd, '10, 21:27

slimsoxshady owned everyone :o

and where is relapse lp :shakehead:
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby bullet_boy46 » Jan 2nd, '10, 21:28

Solace wrote:slimsoxshady owned everyone :o

and where is relapse lp :shakehead:

he was busy, he couldnt be in it, next colalb he will, plus, ima step up my game :smoking:
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Solace » Jan 2nd, '10, 21:32

o yeh u should change it to Outkast not slimsoxshady on the signature banner thing
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby bullet_boy46 » Jan 2nd, '10, 21:35

Solace wrote:o yeh u should change it to Outkast not slimsoxshady on the signature banner thing

was that his name :confusion: and about the shadow drop?
Last edited by bullet_boy46 on Jan 2nd, '10, 21:37, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Solace » Jan 2nd, '10, 21:36

Yes
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Spyder » Jan 2nd, '10, 22:08

Sox had the best verse by far, yours was good homie. nothing that made my mouth drop but you had good mutlies in there
Edge, second best. you had some god mutlies and rhyming in there but like Class said nothing really memorable. no wordplay or had punches
Chett, i liked your vere for what it is man. you hardly ever write you had some nice rhymes thrown in and some laughable wordplay :y: 3rd best. not exactly great but i know you only right once a year lol
Bullet, 4th best. looks like you stepped up a bit for this piece which is good. but you need a bigger vocab and the flow was off for me. not a great use of multies. and if remember right some things didnt even rhyme. make sure you dont say things just to say em
Smithy, came weakest in here. you deffintly had some things tat didnt even rhyme and there was no wordplay punches or good mutlies, sorry to be so tough on ya but its honesty. i think your verse was like the shortest too.

6/10 for your first peice, i wish that Relapse was in this piece. woulda bumped it alot
also i thought 2sday was gonna be in it?
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Element. » Jan 2nd, '10, 22:17

Spyder wrote:Sox had the best verse by far, yours was good homie. nothing that made my mouth drop but you had good mutlies in there
Edge, second best. you had some god mutlies and rhyming in there but like Class said nothing really memorable. no wordplay or had punches
Chett, i liked your vere for what it is man. you hardly ever write you had some nice rhymes thrown in and some laughable wordplay :y: 3rd best. not exactly great but i know you only right once a year lol
Bullet, 4th best. looks like you stepped up a bit for this piece which is good. but you need a bigger vocab and the flow was off for me. not a great use of multies. and if remember right some things didnt even rhyme. make sure you dont say things just to say em
Smithy, came weakest in here. you deffintly had some things tat didnt even rhyme and there was no wordplay punches or good mutlies, sorry to be so tough on ya but its honesty. i think your verse was like the shortest too.

6/10 for your first peice, i wish that Relapse was in this piece. woulda bumped it alot
also i thought 2sday was gonna be in it?


I'll try do better in the next song.
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Edge » Jan 3rd, '10, 08:34

Spyder wrote:Sox had the best verse by far, yours was good homie. nothing that made my mouth drop but you had good mutlies in there
Edge, second best. you had some god mutlies and rhyming in there but like Class said nothing really memorable. no wordplay or had punches
Chett, i liked your vere for what it is man. you hardly ever write you had some nice rhymes thrown in and some laughable wordplay :y: 3rd best. not exactly great but i know you only right once a year lol
Bullet, 4th best. looks like you stepped up a bit for this piece which is good. but you need a bigger vocab and the flow was off for me. not a great use of multies. and if remember right some things didnt even rhyme. make sure you dont say things just to say em
Smithy, came weakest in here. you deffintly had some things tat didnt even rhyme and there was no wordplay punches or good mutlies, sorry to be so tough on ya but its honesty. i think your verse was like the shortest too.

6/10 for your first peice, i wish that Relapse was in this piece. woulda bumped it alot
also i thought 2sday was gonna be in it?


2sday called me out, so i said if he wins he could be in but he didnt... and thanks for the feed, punches will be harder in the next drop, dont u worry
be the best you can be, and if thats not good enough for people... than fuck em
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Ms. Lunaverse » Jan 3rd, '10, 11:10

Was good guys. I'm guessin you guys are mostly new based on all the comments. Keep ya heads up yall, these fool bashin yall all sucked at one point too. Don't worry about em and keep doin ya thing.
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Element. » Jan 3rd, '10, 14:21

yh i was a let down on this one ;/
will be better next time just need to sort out my multi's ect.
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Re: Breaking Out in Rhyme - Forums Finest

Postby Edge » Jan 3rd, '10, 15:50

Ms. Lunaverse wrote:Was good guys. I'm guessin you guys are mostly new based on all the comments. Keep ya heads up yall, these fool bashin yall all sucked at one point too. Don't worry about em and keep doin ya thing.


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