Not a cent

[Wic Kid]

Great, great piece. I could flow it in the first read. Multies are perfect and natural, concept is pretty original.

Now when you're near drugs or you go to weird clubs
I don't wanna hear your voice, someone give me earplugs
If you guzzle beer jugs, then you'll never cheer up
And those fucking tear ducts, man, they'll never clear up

Rhythm here is flawless, lines got stuck in my head immediately. Nice drop, A.

[MikeNUFC]

Flow and rhymes are virtually flawless.

There was something about "someone give me earplugs" that I didn't like. Not sure what it was to be honest.

This was outstanding:

You would bitch and you'd moan, you would piss and you'd whine
And I listened to your woes, you never listened to mine
And I'd kiss your behind, completely missing the signs
Not knowing you're the vain, egotistical kind

[iain08]

That was sick. I was listening to Shit on You right before I read this, and when I read this along to that intsrumental with a fast flow it seemed to work flawlessly.

[WakeUpShow]

This might have one of the best flows i've ever read in creative writing. seriously perfect, with a great concept to back it up.

[Yah-hah]

Great, great piece. I could flow it in the first read. Multies are perfect and natural, concept is pretty original.

Now when you're near drugs or you go to weird clubs
I don't wanna hear your voice, someone give me earplugs
If you guzzle beer jugs, then you'll never cheer up
And those fucking tear ducts, man, they'll never clear up

Rhythm here is flawless, lines got stuck in my head immediately. Nice drop, A.

First off wic kid you still alive bro A you are one of the best writers when it comes to word choice. You dont have to pick big words to try to sound smart. McMaybe is very good at this too, pickin your words and placing them perfectly. Flow is always good man enjoyed the part wic highlighted too. Veryy good my friend

[titan23]

that was amazing, i was able to flow it perfectly and i relate to this shit.
awesome concept, and everything worked.
i like it

[Xray]

I didn't like it, felt way to slow paced and boring. Probably because of your basic rhyming, I expected more creativity from you and this was nothing good. Flow and structure is good, that's about it though. Only line I liked was "If you guzzle beer jugs, then you'll never cheer up". Your imagery is pretty bad judging by this piece.

[DƎRDYPK]

that was very beautiful

might of been the way you used the 2 syllables multis to keep a smooth steady flow going

or maybe because I'm really feeling the start of this verse

You would bitch and you'd moan, you would piss and you'd whine
And I listened to your woes, you never listened to mine
And I'd kiss your behind, completely missing the signs
Not knowing you're the vain, egotistical kind
You see I took care of you, you never took care of me
So in a way, I kind of gave you free therapy
And you acted like it's only you who ever felt pain
And everything you did was for your own self-gain

I know people like this
I would give anything in this world to see them smile
& feel happy but some people only care about themselfs...
fuck that kind of shit...


beautiful piece...nothing else I can say but beautiful or dope

keep at the writing
I'll stay reading

[Xray]

I didn't like it, felt way to slow paced and boring. Probably because of your basic rhyming, I expected more creativity from you and this was nothing good.

Opinion noted. I think the content is slightly generic, too, and no, it's not as creative as I'm capable of.

But basic rhyming? Never one to toot my own horn but:

Not a small shot of rum not a drop of champagne/gonna halt gonna numb, gonna stop the damn pain

That whole thing rhymes. I'm not even going to count the syllables. "Basic rhyming" is one criticism I am going to flat-out dismiss.

Flow and structure is good, that's about it though. Only line I liked was "If you guzzle beer jugs, then you'll never cheer up". Your imagery is pretty bad judging by this piece.

I barely used any imagery in this piece, it was very literal/non-metaphorical. Maybe the "earplugs" line was a little ridiculous.

Thanks for the honesty, though.

Okay it's cool. I was just expecting something better from you is all. I meant basic as in compared to your standards, if you can rhyme that many syllabels in a bar surely you can be more consistent. I guess I didn't like this because there's not much character in it, just feels plain.

[HipHopHead]

I didn't like it, felt way to slow paced and boring. Probably because of your basic rhyming, I expected more creativity from you and this was nothing good. Flow and structure is good, that's about it though. Only line I liked was "If you guzzle beer jugs, then you'll never cheer up". Your imagery is pretty bad judging by this piece.

No^

Best flow in CW. If you don't start recording this stuff you're nuts. Keep it up.

RF? viewtopic.php?f=24&t=105924

[VenomBlackViper]

Shits dope, if you could drop 2 other verses like this it'd make a good emotional song.

[ArsheyHaq]

Another awesome drop, as usual.

"You would bitch and you'd moan, you would piss and you'd whine
And I listened to your woes, you never listened to mine
And I'd kiss your behind, completely missing the signs
Not knowing you're the vain, egotistical kind"

^^^That part was just flawless in its flow, so slick^^^

"Now when you're near drugs or you go to weird clubs
I don't wanna hear your voice, someone give me earplugs
If you guzzle beer jugs, then you'll never cheer up
And those fucking tear ducts, man, they'll never clear up"

^^^I really enjoyed the flow on that too! Amazing how
you can flow and deliver descriptive visuals at the same time
(not a lot of people can do that)^^^

"And I know you were dumped and you're down in the dumps
But how will a drunk guy come out of a slump?"

^^^For some reason that just sounded really dope to me aha
enjoyed the delivery on it, I guess^^^

A lot of this was really repetitive, I know lol just sayin' the same thing
as everyone else, but whatevs.. Keep postin', you're the sole reason
I keep coming back to this board.