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Just a 16

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Re: Just a 16

Postby Sam. » Jan 31st, '11, 10:17

Nice attempt ,did you write this over a beat 'cuz i slipped in places when i tried to flow ,
As always i have highlighted the best part i liked.
Amadeo wrote:
Relaxing after working the entire week prior
I was in a crummy cafe with dirty cheap tiles
Did a work shift, where I had to clean aisles
And clean the bathrooms, I had to sweep bile
Served by a waitress, a petite child
Peaceful and polite, she had a sweet smile
Spat my drink out, "Bitch, I like my tea mild
You better serve a better one 'cause I can be vile
And make sure you get it done, I can beguile
Plus I'm a pedophile, check my police file"
"I thought you were in jail!" "I had a re-trial"
Poured the mug on her, chased the girl for three miles
I can be wild, check my lyric sheet pile
It's a stack of blank paper, this is a freestyle

And meanwhile, my grandpa is senile
That's why I've got retirement homes on speed dial
[Rollefsen] - SajN retired, bitch got old, unlike Sams "ladies".
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Re: Just a 16

Postby classthe_king » Jan 31st, '11, 21:50

What inspired this :shifty:
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: Just a 16

Postby Ka0t1c » Jan 31st, '11, 22:11

i like it for what it is.... good rhymes and how u did it, just too sporadic, just didn't have any sense to it...
oh yeah... and thanks for nothing too
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Re: Just a 16

Postby HipHopHead » Feb 1st, '11, 06:05

I totally fuckin forgot about our collab man. My mom had a minor surgery so she's been at home and I haven't been able to record. My bad bro.

This was fuckin beautiful minus the last two lines though. I'm jealous.
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..................................................You just copy, pasted, and read this sentence
....................................................1-0
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Re: Just a 16

Postby ArsheyHaq » Mar 4th, '11, 00:09

Haha enjoyed that read too, for what it is.. I think if you recorded this, it'd come off stronger! I really liked how you rhymed the whole thing through with just that rhyme, reminded me of Em's 3rd verse on 'Insane'
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Re: Just a 16

Postby VenomBlackViper » Mar 18th, '11, 04:43

This is fucking hilarious, i'm gonna try to find other threads by you in creative writing. I should've expected you to write seeing as how you're so good with multis.
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