Hip Hop To Me (Unfinshed)

[Mahmoud48]

Reek havoc on this weak ass rappers
tweak bad habits there obsolete
damn i had it with this shit u call rapping
this is an art form with passion
forget hip hop its not all about the fashion
what happens to the clashing
and the guns that were flashing
the games gone soft like a cushion that's been sat in
man doesnt this sadden many who thought Pac was the Captain
now he sinks while the ship is right behind him
combined with the fact that biggie died at a random moment
the string that was getting loose broke and stopped holding
the new generation now doesnt remember the age when hip hop was golden

i dont know where to go with this
should i just add a hook and talk about todays legdends
and can someone give me a hook??
also rate it and shit

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[VenomBlackViper]

Mahmoud spokesman for hip hop? Michael Vic spokesman for animal care? octomom spokesman for safe sex?

[ArsheyHaq]

"Reek havoc on this weak ass rappers
tweak bad habits there obsolete
damn i had it"

I loved, LOVED, that part, but that was pretty much it.. You should've kept it goin' with that form of rhyming and style throughout your whole verse. It would've sounded real raw! But that's just me. I could be wrong. Try to practice your multis cuz you had some pretty long lines with just one word that rhymed at the end. It makes the line go unrewarded for the reader. I liked the captain/ship metaphor. Nicely done.

And what was supposed to rhyme here? I didn't catch it:
"now he sinks while the ship is right behind him
combined with the fact that biggie died at a random moment"

Btw, Idk much about feedback, but I'm pretty sure "sounds like em" does not count as it... It might be the reason you're not getting as much feedback, because you're not providing it yourself. Just a thought.

Anyway, good work. I'll be lookin' out for more of your stuff.