Haven't dropped in a while, so here's a little written.

[JamaicanPattlez]

viewtopic.php?f=24&t=143442&p=1859268#p1859268

I know you guys probably think I fell off and whatnot, but I just wanted to drop this. I hope y'all enjoy it.

It ain't easy to please fiends scheming for dreams,
When we can see clearly they like me for cuisine,
Of lyrics, so they see me and they mirror it,
So it's apparent they lean to thievery, then hide in Dominican,
My accusation's based on how they avoid from facin',
My face, and waste time taking lies when we think adjacent,
It's amazing, I chase the fame, but I haven't lost weight,
Shit's blatant when you blame the game, but maybe that's fate,
My inner demons deceive relief, so just imagine the grief,
A sinner leading sheep with ease, like Commander in Chief,
Y'all make me take an AIDS stake through my chest plate,
Laced with a strange agent made to infest hate,
I've got issues, no tissues can prevent my mental,
Misuse of this truth, I only find sacrament in my own temple,
My stomach rumbles, I'm hungry and need to eat,
I wonder if I wake from slumber, you'll all love me as a beast.

Comments, feedback and opinions are welcome.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Bump.

[Mr.DGAF]

Honestly, I think the break was good for you man. Because, this is one of the more impressive pieces I've seen from you. The rhyming in particular is something that stands out compared to older pieces. The rhyming is much more smooth, wereas sometimes it seemed like you used to stretch for rhymes. The flow was good, the repitition of similair sounds was impressive too. It is something that makes a verse sound better when you read it. Topic was good, nice to see you switch it up from some of the jokier tracks to something a little more serious.

Good drop dude, keep working.

[CrashBand]

This was pretty good, as I'm new I haven't seen your old stuff yet so I cant say if its an improvement or not.

I thought the rhyming was good, loads of internal rhymes, pretty much every line is filled with them.
Also not bad vocab,the sacrament line was good, saying that i found it maybe slightly to many syllables. its kinda hard to tell sometimes with writtens.

The flow was good, but that usually comes when the rhyming is solid anyway.

[JamaicanPattlez]

Honestly, I think the break was good for you man. Because, this is one of the more impressive pieces I've seen from you. The rhyming in particular is something that stands out compared to older pieces. The rhyming is much more smooth, wereas sometimes it seemed like you used to stretch for rhymes. The flow was good, the repitition of similair sounds was impressive too. It is something that makes a verse sound better when you read it. Topic was good, nice to see you switch it up from some of the jokier tracks to something a little more serious.

Good drop dude, keep working.

Thanks homie!

@Crash: Thanks! That one worked for me lol, but yeah!

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Great flow man, loved the rhymes within the lines you did a great job with that. I'm new also so I havent seen any of your old stuff yet but this verse was sick.. I'm just starting to get into writing, so hopefully I can learn a couple of things from you. Keep it up.