the verdict of loving you

[Marth]

vese 1
what's the verdict of love
the verdict of robb'
i gotto be nervous or tough?
remember i'll never have enough
lots of musicians try to describe what i feel for you
nobody can neither me.. can i just see the treuth
or other guys keep thinkin they can, they don't
i will stay with you, my whole life others won't
I will marry you like anakin and padme in attack of the clones
I never want to be alone
i want you to be my own
i don't want you to clean my home
this is reall love, we do it together
whoever is tryin to take you from me is battered
i'll shatter the head of the faggit
i dreamed of us, lying together in one bed
i love u so much it it drives me mad
i almost want to commit suicide, as my gun said
cause i can't think of the moment i must leave you
oh shit wait a moment, i need to breath to
i don't wanna see who, tries to be you
there's one you, and one me
one two.. two three
me 'n you
wheter we're yellow or blue
swallow or screwed
my only fellow is you
i stop rappin my crew


dint'finished it.. what u guys thinK/
i wanna be together with you

[Marth]

can i get feed?

[James R.]

That was... interesting. Really simplistic in regards to both rhyming and concepts, choppy flow. You kinda need to work on everything in general. Flow, concepts, rhyming, complexity, you know the whole shebang. Not saying it was bad because it wasn't. It just seems like you lack experience. Keep practicing man.