NEW - Couple Screws Loose

[Solace]

Agblah.

[Chorus]
There's a couple screws loose, I'm going out of my mind,
For fun I take my two balls and make them entwined,
Theres a couple screws loose and i cant put them back,
There aint no way to fix my mistakes, and every second i feel that im gunna crack!

[Verse 1]
Epiphany, never been in the right stage,
Always causing constant controversy, breaking out of my cage,
Walking through a hallway, no one would ever do shit,
Cause if they did they'd know that i would lose it,
Take a dump in the toilet? Naw i dont do that,
I take the shit out and eat it, and then my ass goes *fart sound* splat,
And every single time i let my heart open,
Out to other people, my self esteem gets broken,
That's why i keep my all my feelings to myself,
Look God, why did you send me to hell?
But I aint mad at you even if you wished my death,
Sometimes i wish that too, more or less,
Suicide? Man im just contemplating,
Laughing at your live performances (man is he constipated?),
And yeah, maybe i am a bit crazy, (koo-koo)
A couple screws loose, but to be honest...(What?), that shit don't phase me.

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 2]
You gunna kill me? Go ahead do it,
Runnin' up to me with a loaded pistol, then walkin' away saying "screw it",
Thats why you hear everyone booing to you,
You cant walk the walk, against someone with screws loose,
My nuts are loose *scratches* -- i mean my screws are loose,
They loosy goosy, I went to a roost, and fed em to mother goose
But i aint trying to go ultra ego on this track,
Ill admit it, i can see the lyricism all this lacks,
I rap like trash and yet makes fun of your shit,
While i got people hitting me up wanting more shit,
Cause im a hypocrite who just dont give a shit,
Making fun of you like today was my last day, bitch deal with it, cause...

[Chorus x2]

[MC Anonymous]

This was good as a beginning, absolutely on the right path

[Solace]

This was good as a beginning, absolutely on the right path

Thanks a lot, means a lot coming from you considering you just like, a really good writer.

[Requiem]

kinda disqusting. yeaugh about the eating poop. it was alright, thought ur last 2 drops were better (awkward line considering ur subject matter)
the latter part of the first verse was pretty sick. didn't like beginning so much, and i didn't like chorus that much either. overall-7/10 good drop, not best, but still a welcome addition to the creative writing

[Solace]

kinda disqusting. yeaugh about the eating poop. it was alright, thought ur last 2 drops were better (awkward line considering ur subject matter)
the latter part of the first verse was pretty sick. didn't like beginning so much, and i didn't like chorus that much either. overall-7/10 good drop, not best, but still a welcome addition to the creative writing

Thanks man, im gunna try to make the first verse better, and the chorus. Glad you checked it, gunna finish it tonight. Hopefully then itll be nice

[Requiem]

^nice, MUCH better chorus, and the 1st verse flows much better too. great job reworking it. loved it, might even be worth making an audio i can always make a beat *cracks knuckles*

[Solace]

^nice, MUCH better chorus, and the 1st verse flows much better too. great job reworking it. loved it, might even be worth making an audio i can always make a beat *cracks knuckles*

If you read my tracklist for my tape, you woulda known this is gunna get recorded Lmao tahnks for rechecking, im glad its better man!

[Requiem]

i thought i did read it, did u post it on tr???

[Solace]

i thought i did read it, did u post it on tr???

no, that pm that showed the cover and tracklist. Anyways. Are you being the next Kez?


and thanks Chet, im glad you checked it!

[Requiem]

"who, me?"

lmao, just for today cuz i'm so bored. GOOD GOD i don't wanna emulate kez lmao, but this pic is ROFL.

[Solace]

"who, me?"

lmao, just for today cuz i'm so bored. GOOD GOD i don't wanna emulate kez lmao, but this pic is ROFL.

LMAOOOO AHAHAHAHH good pic

anyways man i finished it. recheck it..again!

[Requiem]

^ur first verse had better rhyme scheme, but ur 2nd verse seemed to flow better. hmm, i guess it's cuz the spitfire way u make verse 2. it really doesn't make sense, so ur screws are loose, or ur nuts i mean, verse 2 didn't rhyme as much, but it sure was funny. loved the Hypocrite line

[Solace]

^ur first verse had better rhyme scheme, but ur 2nd verse seemed to flow better. hmm, i guess it's cuz the spitfire way u make verse 2. it really doesn't make sense, so ur screws are loose, or ur nuts i mean, verse 2 didn't rhyme as much, but it sure was funny. loved the Hypocrite line

Thanks, glad it at least improved.

[Kez]

no, that pm that showed the cover and tracklist. Anyways. Are you being the next Kez?

[Slim Zaddy]

man u did take your time to come up wit a good piece of writing ,, they did mention some staff about your chorus before ,, but looking at it know .. it looks hot and cool for me .. so i like it though ,, talking about the verses ,, i liked the 1st more rather than the 2nd ,, the 1st is sick in term of flow and rhymes ,, but the 2nd was off in some areas ,, n u were repeating words like ( loose twice ) ( shit three times at the end of each sentence ) i don’t know but if u pick other words that could rhymed with them is better than repeating them .. so gd post man ,, overall 8/10