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Confession of Conception

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Confession of Conception

Postby James R. » Dec 28th, '08, 00:35

Once upon a time there was a bunch of hard liquor
A blonde baby sitter and some barn yard strippers
Twenty-seven shots kept getting poured quicker
A black guy saw this chick and he wanted to hard dick her
In the back of his hippie style Chevrolet van
Who woulda thought that shit would ever get em laid, damn
But back to the story they were getting kinda horny
She was lookin for a condom; all he had was a forty
So they said “Aw fuck it, I’m feelin lucky anyways”
Then she saw a bump after a hundred twenty days
She called like “Damn I can’t believe you got me knocked up”
And he said “How’d you get my number bitch I’m locked up!”
But he was out in four months so he paid her ass a visit
He didn’t know the address so he’s askin random bitches
“Have you seen my baby mama she bout to start some drama
And if I don’t find her Ima have to deal with shitty karma”
But by an act of God he found her skank ass sister
She explained that she just moved and how he just missed her
So he hopped on the bus and forgot to pay
Started listenin to Detox by Doctor Dre
Hopped off at his stop to the drivers disapproval
A black dude wants his kid..? How unusual
So he found her “Bitch what did I do to you?”
She was layin on the floor actin out her own funeral
He stopped in the kitchen for a Dr. Pepper
Got his glock from the dresser popped shots and left her
But then he felt bad and went back to save her
And outta all 12 shots not one even grazed her
He helped her ass up right until he saw a stranger
Walk into the room with some smack and a hanger
And he was like “Bitch what the fuck you been snortin?”
She just said “What? I just wanted an abortion”
So all three stopped and stared in the confusion
The guy was all doped up he thought they were illusions
So the chick got in bed under her Harry Potter throw
When she stopped called out “HOLY FUCK MY WATER BROKE!”
The dope fiend dipped and the guy was like “Holy shit”
The girl came out like “Hurry up I’m holding it!”
She couldn’t take a step so he put her on some roller blades
They got outside and she started to roll away
Down the hill she went right into the hospital
The poor guy could barely believe his optical
A couple hours passed and she had her little boy baby
She said “what should we name him” The dad said “Maybe..”
He never thought of what his name would have to be
Then he perked up like “Name the sick bastard, LEE!”

I thought everyone should know how our beloved Admin came to be. This is a seldom told story. Hope you enjoyed.
Last edited by James R. on Jan 3rd, '09, 01:57, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby MC Anonymous » Dec 28th, '08, 00:40

HAHAHAHAHAHA this was so fucking funny
10/10 !! LOLOL :worship: :worship: :worship:
LMFAO@ Brittney, bitch looking worse than a chupacabra mixed with a broken down coyote. You're disgusting ugly, so ugly in fact, my brain simultaneously exploded while processing how bitterly grotesque you look. I would much rather stick ice picks into the walls of my cranium, then stick my dick into your quagmire of a clitoris. You're what would happen if a sperm whale mated with a Godzilla fish..


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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby James R. » Dec 28th, '08, 00:43

Hahahaha glad you guys enjoyed it.

Maybe, you have the illest conception of the site by far
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby mcZu » Dec 28th, '08, 00:43

Great storytelling, sick lyrics, nice to know how McMaybe was born. :y:

Just a side note, this all happend in 9 months?????? 'Cause I sorta lost the time frame, he got locked up after three weeks he got out....looked for her and then her water broke... Am I missing some points or was tbe birth of Lee a miracle?
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby James R. » Dec 28th, '08, 00:45

I'm thinking this all happened in like 5 months? I totally lost track of the whole time thing. Thanks for checkin it man
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby mcZu » Dec 28th, '08, 00:47

^Your welcome bro, screw the time frame this was some sick as story telling :b:
"Truth is limitless in its range; if you drop a 'T' and look at it in reverse, it could hurt."
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby Rain Matrix » Dec 28th, '08, 01:30

great story my girl had a baby boy not to long ago so it was kinda trippy...
congrats on a great piece :y:
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby James R. » Dec 28th, '08, 03:43

God damn. I'm in your mind rain! Thanks for checkin me out man
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby James R. » Dec 28th, '08, 03:49

Haha thanks Chet I appreciate you checkin it out. And I'll be sure to keep that in mind :smoking:
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby -[Zach]- » Dec 28th, '08, 09:10

haha funny shit there man. it was so vividly written it was like an orgasm for my mind bro haha. seriously though that was really good just like everyone else has said.
"Did you ever stop to think/I'm old enough to go to war but I ain't old enough to drink" - 2Pac

"It's time to let the truth be told/There ain't no brighter day/'Cause when it all unfolds/A n**** gon' just pass away/These haters tryna stop my grind/But I bet them hoes can't block my shine/So tired of takin' losses not this time/I can't save the whole world I'm just tryna look out for mine" - Z-Ro

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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby Slim Zaddy » Dec 28th, '08, 13:05

hehehe , it's fuckig crazy man ,, i liked it .. it's funny dude .. nd it's great . flow was okay ,, and lyrics were decent .. everything ws fine ,, 10/10 .. keep droppin these rhymes man ..
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby James R. » Dec 28th, '08, 18:56

Thanks for checkin for me pplz. I always appreciate it
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby yoshi » Dec 28th, '08, 23:36

hotness. <3
Maybe wrote:I'm so awesome, I don't mind looking desperate.

Chet wrote:Fuck House. If I wanted to watch a sarcastic person in the medical field, I would stalk Yoshi :8)
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby Kez » Dec 28th, '08, 23:40

I lol'd
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Re: Confession of Conception

Postby James R. » Dec 29th, '08, 01:02

Thanks Yoshi and Kez
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